Do y’all need a hug, or what? It has come to my attention
lately via text, Twitter, phone, Facebook, email, and Entertainment Tonight
that a lot of my friends are having a tough time right now. Whether it be
health, finances, teenagers, marriage, family, neighbors or work, it seems that
everyone has a full plate and a heavy heart. My friend, Blair, sent me this
very insightful article titled, Eight
Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong that I thought I would share.
While we are getting a little life advice, let’s look at
pictures from a charming book titled,
Much Loved. The author, Mark Nixon,
takes us down memory lane to the ones that gave us comfort, peace and solace
from the very beginning, our stuffed animals. You can purchase the book HERE.
Maybe all of my friends, and myself included, need to put aside our cell phones, computers,
toxic friendships, cronuts, gossip magazines, Botox needles, remote controls,
credit cards, “vacays,” and cucumber martinis and pick up a simple stuffed
animal to pour our troubles into. A little “snuggle therapy,” dare I say?
Eight Things to
Remember When Everything Goes Wrong…
#1. Pain is part of growing.
Sometimes life closes
doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we
often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind
yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurt you, but
never forget what it taught you. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean
you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to
get there. Good things take time. Stay patient and stay positive. Everything is
going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually. Remember that
there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When
you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.
#2. Everything in life is temporary.
Every time it rains,
it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is
always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often
forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It
won’t. Nothing lasts forever. So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It
won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last
forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you
can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t
smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a
second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it.
#3. Worrying and complaining changes nothing.
Those who complain
the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to attempt to do something
great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It’s not over if
you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it. If you
believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the
doorstep of your future. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make
tomorrow any brighter. Take action instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how
you live. Make a change and never look back. And regardless of what happens in
the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop
complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the
problems you don’t have.
#4. Your scars are symbols of your strength.
Don’t ever be ashamed
of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over and the
wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew
stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of.
Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live
your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can
change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of
strength and not pain. Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light
enters you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have
emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world
are seared with scars. See your scars as a sign of “YES! I MADE IT! I survived
and I have my scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to grow even
stronger.”
#5. Every little struggle is a step forward.
In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to
keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work
is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way.
Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and
comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not
eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean
stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills.
It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean
accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in
solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It
gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of
how much you really want it. And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure
and rejection and the odds. And every step will feel better than anything else
you can imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path,
it is the path. And it’s worth it. So if you’re going to try, go all the way.
There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing
what it means to be ALIVE.
#6. Other people’s negativity is not your problem.
Be positive when
negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you down. It’s an easy
way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. When other people treat you poorly,
keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.
You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do
people do things because of you. They do things because of them. Above all,
don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough.
Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future.
People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So
worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. If you believe
strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it. Great strength comes
from overcoming what others think is impossible. All jokes aside, your life
only comes around once. This is IT. So do what makes you happy and be with whoever
makes you smile, often.
#7. What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.
True strength comes
when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and
appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you
face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You
can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some
point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE. In the end, loving
your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding
happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a
long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every
step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and
enjoy your life as it unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended
to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.
#8. The best thing you can do is to keep going.
Don’t be afraid to
get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.
Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often
learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times
when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And
you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When
you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong
before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive
at your best. Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Find the strength to
laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in
your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change.
Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. And even if
you fall short, keep going. Keep growing.
And don’t forget, as Bob Marley says: Everything’s gonna be
all right. Everything’s gonna be all right. Everything’s gonna be all right.
