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How Not To Have a Meltdown on Thanksgiving. By Ellie O'Connell


My Grandmother's Recipe Box
Thanksgiving. A beautiful day to celebrate and give thanks with your friends and family. Also known as: a year-long lead up to a day filled with at least six out of seven deadly sins including gluttony, wrath and sloth. You know it’s true. No Thanksgiving goes smoothly. There is always some sort of cooking disaster like burning the rolls (my mother’s signature move) or some annoying relative who inappropriately “over shares.”

No matter what you do, how much you organize, how much you plan ahead, or how much you pray for a smooth day… It ain’t gonna be. However, there are some tricks that can minimize the carnage.

I think we can all agree that the foremost trick to having a near disaster free Thanksgiving is to plan ahead. Make a list and check it twice. Grocery list, guest list, floral list, music list, drinks list, table setting list… List, list, list! And it’s important to delegate. Let someone else help. My mother usually does 90% of the work but typically she delegates out setting the table, lighting the candles, filling the glasses with water… Stupid jobs for stupid people, I am sure, is her theory. Nothing serious because she doesn’t trust any of us to do it correctly. She usually just has my sister and I do menial labor and then she will come in and put the finishing touches on everything. I am 45 years old and to this day I have never made Thanksgiving dinner. I have been my mother’s assistant to Thanksgiving dinner but the reigns have never been passed over to me and probably never will be unless my mother drops dead, God forbid, and we will have to retch that spatula out of her cold dead hands. Ha ha,ha, I’m laughing as I write that. (Relax, my mother would be laughing too.)

However, this year is my first year to make Thanksgiving by myself and when I say “by myself” I mean my three male Filipino caregivers will be morphed into chefs, bakers, florist and decorators. I have had 45 years of “Thanksgiving observation” and my skill retention will be put to the test this year in Provence as I attempt to “do Thanksgiving.”

I will rely 100% on my Thanksgiving cookbook, Surviving Thanksgiving. Every single one of my family secret recipes are described. My great grandmother’s green beans with bacon. Check. My mother’s famous cranberry sauce (Yolanda Hadid’s favorites). Check. Our family secret stuffing recipe with a surprising ingredient. Check. Sweet potato soufflĂ© from a down-home Southern source. Check.

I am also going to rely heavily on every “tricks of the trade” I can find. These tricks can come from home cooks to professionals. I have started a compilation but I would like all of you to contribute your best Thanksgiving tricks/tips in the comment section so everyone can share their Thanksgiving advice!

I have started a little compilation:

Our beloved Stephen leads our Thanksgiving advice: “I follow the Libby’s back of the canned pumpkin pie recipe, except I: 1) use duck eggs 2) double the spices and 3) bloom the spices in half a stick of melted butter 4) add 1 tablespoon whiskey to the filling (helps evaporate moisture more quickly and amplifies flavor).”

Stephen continues with his holiday spirit advice: “Guests like to help. I know this, every etiquette/hosting guide says this. Every lifestyle personality urges “get your guests in on it! It’s more fun!” Bull and shit. I would like to be that person who opens his kitchen, passes a spare apron, and says, "Oh, darling! Chop these carrots however you feel regardless of how I’d like them! Even though you just pet my dog, don’t worry about washing your hands since there are two people blocking the sink arguing about abortion. But that’s not me. I'm a solo act. I feel it’s a strength and I at least recognize this; but in the scheme of things, it's probably a weakness. So, maybe in 30 years when I’m alone on Thanksgiving, I’ll reassess. For now, the model remains: "Darling! Get the fuck out of the kitchen."Bold

But this is just the beginning of Stephen’s Thanksgiving advice. Pop over to Stephen’s blog HERE to read the funniest most realistic advice on Thanksgiving you could ever hope for! You will not be disappointed!

My friend Amy M. is up next with her Thanksgiving advice. Amy is a former editor of Gourmet Magazine and not only knows how to make something taste good but look good also! Amy suggests: “1. Take the time to make turkey stock for your gravy! It doesn't take long and makes a huge difference in flavor. There is an easy recipe on p. 377 of the big Gourmet yellow cookbook. Also, my booze of choice for gravy (in addition to the requisite white wine) is a medium Madiera. 2. If having a large crowd, instead of cooking 2 turkeys which is very cumbersome roast one larger bird and a boneless turkey breast (size of both depends on total number of guests). It's much easier to focus on one bird and then roast a breast--which takes much less time--as most people choose white meat anyway. Dark meat lovers are usually few in a crowd. 3. Many side dishes can be made ahead but not mashed potatoes (no no no). Purists prefer a food mill but I usually don't have the patience for such w/ a large amount so usually use an old fashioned masher. Make sure you warm the butter/milk/cream mixure so it's hot when you add it to the potatoes. (Some people swear by an electric mixer for mashing which is what my mother always used but you have to be gentle and not overdo.)  4. re: dessert: if you're going to make homemade pies, please please please take the time to make your own pastry. My favorite is Dorie Greenspan's "Good for Almost Everything Pie Dough" on p. 442 of her book "Baking, from my home to yours" one of my favorite baking books--a MUST for any baker!”

Thanks, Amy!

My idol, the Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten masters Thanksgiving by offering her advice by keeping it simple. You can read all of Ina’s Thanksgiving advice HERE but here is a little snippet.

Ina advises: “1. Make a game plan. I take a big piece of paper and write my timing on it, working backward. If I want to serve the meal at 4 o’clock, I think, the turkey must go in the oven at noon, come out at three, and then rest for an hour. Then I look at the carrots and parsnips: make them in advance? Yes, they can be reheated while the turkey rests. I pencil that into the schedule. I make sure that there are some things in the oven, some things atop the stove, some things I can make in advance and reheat, and some things I can serve at room temperature. 2. I love to order cookies with people’s name on them as place cards. They are from Eli’s Zabar ($24 for six, elizabar.com). 3. Ask each guest to bring a dessert. They will feel like they are part of the team (and they’ll enjoy their favorite sweet).”

This last bit of Ina’s advice is the complete opposite of my mother’s advice. If a guest brings flowers or dessert to my mother’s Thanksgiving… She will kill you. I have written a complete rulebook in my Surviving Thanksgiving cookbook of what not to do at our house for Thanksgiving titled, “My Mother Will Kill You If You…” You can order the book HERE. It is available in softback and as an e-book if you want it delivered today on your device.

 
 
This brings us to my mother’s Thanksgiving advice. My mother says: My only really great trick is the one that I use for making all sauces/gravy. I learned it in cooking classes in Springfield, Missouri and have used it forever. 2 Tablespoons melted butter to 2 Tablespoons of flour.  Mix together with a fork and blend it into your liquid with a whisk. If the liquid needs to be thicker make more of this mixture. You can increase the amount but it is always the same equal amount of butter to flour. My other trick if you can call it that.....is before any holiday or event I try to do my best to be really organized with the food and the preparations. Even though I might not look organized to anyone else I am to me! This is really the most important part of any party, holiday or even the evening dinner. Before Thanksgiving I make a list of everything I need to do...even the smallest thing like making sure the napkins are ironed.  Remember the Thanksgiving that I didn't do that and I had a meltdown...I really was not organized or completely prepared...Even as much as I wanted to blame everyone else it really was my responsibility for the meal and that included the napkins....the details do matter. So get prepared, get organized and then you can enjoy the meal and have fun!”

True story. My mother literally had a nervous breakdown over unironed napkins one year. It was about 11 years ago and we are still talking about it/scared about it. But don’t confuse that napkin meltdown with her other meltdown regarding the year my sister brought a store-bought pie to Thanksgiving dinner.

Okay, so now it’s your turn. What are your best tricks to a fabulously seamless Thanksgiving, if there is such a thing. There isn’t but we can at least try! Leave your tricks/tips/advice in the comment section so we can all share. Happy almost Thanksgiving! Gobble gobble!
 

42 comments:

  1. This tip from my mother has saved me both money and time over the years. On any festive occasion when one is using fine crystal, silver, or china which is not dishwasher safe, simply rinse everything, put it on a reserved counter and do not touch until the next day when one is rested and ready to tackle the job. There will be no anguish over a shattered Baccarat wineglass or a Limoges plate which slipped out of your hand and chipped in the sink because you were exhausted. Even if you are fortunate to have helpers, I always recommend doing this yourself. You just have to be willing to leave everything on the counter until the next day. That might really bother some people. Lagniappe story: The Rothschild family owned a superb apple green Sevres dinner service made for Marie Antoinette which could only be washed the day after its use at the Hotel Lambert in the presence of a representative of the insurance company!

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    1. I soooooooo agree with this. My stuff is worthless but I still don't want it to break and sure as hell don't want to deal with it that night. I have a cart that I put it in and wheel it out of the way until morning.

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    2. Have tea cart (languishing under said counter); will travel. Great idea!

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    3. I agree with Mimi's tip too - my Mother once had a "jolly" guest help out with the dishes… she smashed three crystal classes before my Mum relieved her of her duty and forced her to go home. I always leave the hand washing to the next day for this reason.
      The other tip is not to throw out the rubbish (trash for the US readers) until you've accounted for all the silver/ serving pieces. It's so easy for someone to scrape a spoon or something into the bin with scraps when cleaning up, so better that you're not having to go through an enormous pile of rubbish the next day in the big outside bin.

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    4. OMG so true Heidi! I've seen my own mother have a holiday meltdown when all the family sterling has been put away in the felts and a spoon is missing .... everyone has to troop outside and pull bags from the big can .... not a good ending to the day.

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  2. I am so excited to read everyone's tips. Love Amy's and of course I love reading your mother's thoughts. Your first Thanksgiving on your own will go fabulously.
    My poor mother (aka my sweatshop laborer of linens) is waking up in the middle of the night worrying about finishing the tablecloth. So I may end up with a meltdown that envies your mother's if it's not done. And you're right, it NEVER goes perfectly. Just remember that you might as well have fun because crying or sulking in the kitchen on the floor with a bottle of wine will put you in an even worse mood. I speak from experience.

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  3. Wine. Lots and lots of wine. I start at around 8:00 am.

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  4. Oh my gosh I love this! And how brilliant is our own Stephen Andrew with his series on Thanksgiving. I love him forever. I have been known to throw huge dinner parties and family dinners and then hate myself on the day and feel completely overwhelmed. I'm taking in all of the organizational tips, from you and from SAJ. My one tip which seems to soothe my soul in the frenzied 10 minutes of getting dishes to table is to have a bowl of fresh prepared herbs ready to throw on everything: parsley, rosemary, thyme, sage. Tucked in and around all of the turkey, veg dishes, it elevates the look and pleases me and maybe prevents crying? Love this post and I know that you and your highly trained team are going to pull off Thanksgiving in Provence beyond your expectations. Please take pictures and share with us. XOX

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  5. Thanksgiving should be a wonderful holiday - lots of food! What's not love? The only problem is that my Home-Economics-Teacher mother was a lousy cook. She would use spices that were at least a year old (because she bought them on sale the day AFTER Thanksgiving) and cooked everything within an inch of its life. I still cannot walk past a stalk of Brussel sprouts without cringing.

    On top of that I am allergic to green peas and corn. My mother insisted that I eat them even if I did end up with hives and an asthma attack. (She said I needed to eat everything that the rest of the family ate even if I didn't like it.)

    When I finally escaped (went off to college), I made sure that I was invited to a friend's home somewhere out of town so I just couldn't make it home on Thursday. By Friday most of the food was gone so it was safe to go home.

    Thanksgiving has become an anti-food orgy for me. I like the turkey, bread stuffing with fresh sage from my garden and lots of celery, a nice mixed green salad with dried cranberries and walnuts and perhaps some Butternut Squash soup. My friend, Andrea (AKA The French Basketeer), recently introduced me to croutons made with Herbs de Provence which make a fabulous addition to the soup. This is an embarrassingly simple meal. If anyone wants other side dishes, I just tell them to bring them and they do! It always works out well.

    We also put off doing dishes until the next day. We have a second dishwasher which we only use on Holidays. Dirty dishes go straight in there and we punch the rinse cycle. The next day we take them out and finish the ones that require hand washing. Simple!

    Wishing everyone a stress free holiday. No one in Heaven is going to chide you because you forgot to put french fried onions on top of the green beans.

    Smiles from Charlotte Des Fleurs

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  6. Spread the work out. Begin Tuesday and make the cranberry sauce and pie crust for the fridge, so it will be cold for baking on Wednesday. If you're dry brining the turkey, start Tuesday. Check for tarnished silver and linens on Tuesday and set the table. Wednesday: bake desserts, chop the aromatics for the stuffing and refrigerate, set the butter out on the counter that night so it will be room temp on Thursday morning when the bird must be gussied up for the oven. Thursday morning, get the bird ready for the over and get going on the major cooking tiems, run the dishes in the dish washer and time it so they'll be warm when it's time to serve.

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  7. Our poor sons (both born in the US) don't really get a proper Thanksgiving because even though my husband and I have lived here twenty five years it still bewilders us. I'm hoping they'll get married and I won't ever have to worry about it again.
    Helen

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    1. Dear Helen, Don't worry about a "proper" Thanksgiving. First of all, it is the "thanks" that counts. Secondly, the only "required items" are turkey and something to do with pumpkin. Butternut squash makes an excellent substitute. I have even served a pudding made from pumpkin filling and Butter Scotch pudding. (Did not have the fixings for a pie crust because we were snowed in that year.) Improvise. That is what the Pilgrims did!

      Smiles from Charlotte Des Fleurs

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  8. You and Stephen have outdone yourselves!!! Both of you offer excellent advice and tips! And then there's the advice from beyondbeige . . . a great way to start! Thanks everyone!

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  9. We are going out his year to a buffet at a fun restaurant that has seating times. I love this the best as I can't deal with the stress of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Our group is tiny, and for years was vegan only, which was fun. Thankfully a local coffee shop roasts turkeys every single day, so a T-Day turkey dinner with all the trimmings is always available to me. I purchased your cookbook last month and love it. I will be doing the cranberry sauce recipe on my own, because that looks yummy. Grandma's green beans were hilarious.
    Hugs, special lady.

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  10. I cook lots of food. Everyone's favorite Thanksgiving item. I also have lots of wine and champs. I am not a great cook, but I know this fact and do not stress about perfection. My motto is: The well stocked bar and wine...takes the edge off everyone. Something will definitely go wrong, someone will definitely do or say something offensive. That's a given! I will enjoy the day and keep serving. The good news is we have never had a casualty.

    Anybody that needs to stay the night is always welcome! Susan

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  11. I'm sure your dinner will be so much fun! I'm turning in the towel this year - off to Hawaii. Grandma's gone so what's the point? Will really miss her cranberry carrot jello salad. She insisted it wasn't a real Thanksgiving dinner without it. You can bet it's being served in heaven this year :) Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving Ellie.

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  12. I don't celebrate thanksgiving because I am Australian but I like to have a turkey on hand out of solidarity and also, any excuse to celebrate. I would never ever not iron a napkin, as soon as they come out of the dryer I iron them. But then again I iron everything. If the Mr stood still long enough I'd iron him.

    Like your mum I get irritated when people bring me flowers and I have to run around finding a vase and arranging them.

    Stephen's thanksgiving blogs are GOLD. x

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  13. Unless I put the matches out on the kitchen counter I forget to light the candles. Also, leave time a day or two ahead to figure out a seating plan. Even families can do with a bit of mixing up now and then.

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  14. If, you want to shock And amaze your guests (in a good way) look up the recipe for a "Thompson's Turkey" it's quite a process with the full on basting but you will experience one of the most succulent turkeys you've ever eaten. Other than that, it's a nice tradition to have everyone share something they're thankful for.

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    1. Well, what's left to say, except right behind Ellie, I love Stephen! No help in the kitchen, please, except when things need to arrive on the table. Ina Garten's timeline lists are essential, so that nothing is forgotten/overlooked when focus is lost because of too much conversation in the kitchen. And, Mimi's advice...don't touch the china and crystal please, even if it's not "precious", it all goes together, beautifully, and trying to replace a plate or two might just be impossible. This year, for me, a beautifully browned, juicy, boneless turkey breast...no one eats the brown meat anyway! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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  15. Wonderful post, Ellie! I've no doubt your Thanksgiving in Provence will be magical....hope your helpers live up to their billing! I always want to do a light Thanksgiving dinner but I'm from New England so I just can't. :-) Beautifuuly roadted turkey (I hope), bread stuffing with Bell's seasoning, homemade cranberry orange sauce, butternut squash, carrot and turnip mash, savory sweet potato casserole, creamed pearl onions, mashed potatoes, gravy, and one sort of pie. Well, it IS mostly vegetables! Ha!
    Tips are to cook the veg ahead and reheat on the day (except for the mashed potatoes) and fresh breadcrumbs for stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pies are also make aheads. This year it'll be pecan pie for our tiny Thanksgiving with just one other couple. The biggest problems I have are finding a Turkey at this time of year in France, and finding fresh pearl onions. The second biggest problem I have is that my husband is British and likes to have turkey on Christmas. He says he feels like it's two Christmas dinners one month apart.

    Stephen has a blog?!!! I can't gelieve I didn't know that before!

    Happy Thanksgiving, dear Ellie! xox

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  16. My husband is a chef (lucky me) and we cook Thanksgiving meals for hundreds. As you can imagine with the surge of gluten free followers (some are really celiac-most aren't), a traditional roux based gravy is a no-go. Fortunately, George has always used a cornstarch slurry to thicken his sauces and gravies which makes them more universal (except for people with corn allergies).
    I went to spend Thanksgiving with my dying mother last year and the turkey duty fell on me. I had NEVER made a turkey before. I followed Ina Gartin's Perfect Turkey "recipe" and I just got a text from my sister-in-law requesting what I did because this is her first year to do the turkey.
    The most important thing to focus on is the love for the people who are sharing your day with you and the reason that we all go crazy to make it as perfect and memorable as possible.
    Happy Thanksgiving, dear Ellie, can't wait to hear how it all turns out;). I'm sure it will be brilliant!

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  17. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but due to all of the aforementioned carnage in your post, we now go to a nice B&B or another nice place that puts out a spread and enjoy a wonderful meal cooked by professionals and go home to a clean kitchen. I would prefer being at home, but if you had relatives like we do....25 years is long enough!! Enjoy your day, Ellie.

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    1. I love all these tips! Here are mine: (1) I like to time my turkey to be done a bit early so I can get that out of the way, make the gravy, free an oven, etc. I keep the turkey perfectly warm by covering the roasting pan tightly in XL Reynolds Wrap (not the regular length), and then wrapping the turkey in a big beach towel, followed by laying two more beach towels snugly on top. The turkey stays perfectly warm for hours - at least 2. HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone! (2) I cook the cranberries with sugar, freshly squeezed tangerine juice and zest - and then I add some chopped dried cherries to cut the tartness of the cranberries.

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  18. An amazing cranberry sauce: Just cover berries with water and cook until they burst. Cool and fold in a jar of the best marmalade you can find. So easy, so delicious and impressive!

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  19. Love all of these tips, Ellie. Our family is different because the Matriarch and Patriarch (also known as Mom and Dad) still want dinner at their home; however it is just too much for them. Soooo we all bring the Thanksgiving dishes, and all pitch in bringing good wine, good bourbon of course and a traditional frozen fruit ring punch for the underagers! It is usually a crazy and loud affair!

    xoxo
    Karena
    The Arts by Karena
    In the Blink of an Eye

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  20. Well, since we are both from Missouri, I'm assuming you, too, cook your green beans a long time with that bacon and don't serve them so they squeak on your teeth, French style, when you eat them. Now, if you don't have By Golly green beans (By golly, they're good), which have a lot of beans in them, you can fake it by putting just a quarter of a can of black eyed peas in there. Your Mom probably would make you cook those from scratch, but canned work fine.

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  21. ONE OF MY MOST ONEROUS THANKSGIVING MORNING TASKS IS PEELING, WASHING, RERECUTTING UP, BOILING ETC. POTATOES. I MAY SEEM A CULINARY HERETIC BUT THE DAY BEFORE, I MIX UP INSTANT MASHED POTATOES ( A GOOD BRAND LIKE IDAHOAN) AND USE THE AMOUNTS GIVEN ON THE PACKAGE FOR THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE. I USE BUTTER AND FOLLOW THE PACKAGE DIRECTIONS. TAKE OFF THE STOVE AND ADD 1-2 EGGS AND 1-2 CUPS OF SOUR CREAM ACCORDING TO THE AMOUNT YOU'RE MAKING. MIX IN 1 TBSP. EACH CHOPPED PARSLEY AND GREEN ONIONS. CHECK CONSISTENCY. IF TOO LOOSE SPRINKLE WITH SOME MORE INSTANT MASHED POTATOES. POUR INTO FANCY CASSEROLE DISH DOT WITH BUTTER, COVER AND REFRIGERATE. AFTER TURKEY COMES OUT, PUT IN OVEN AT 350 DEGREES FOR ABOUT 1/2 HR. MY FAMILY LOVES THESE POTATOES AND I LOVE BEING ABLE TO MAKE THEM IN ADVANCE. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, ROSEMARY ( I USE CAPS BECAUSE OF ARTHRITIS AND VISION PROBLEMS. ROSEMARY

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  22. I LOVE everything about Thanksgiving; the cooking, baking, prep and set design. I love everything EXCEPT; the dry, chafed, and sore hands I’m always left with the day after. It’s inevitable when your hands are in and out of water a million times (or you’re a germaphobe). After years of needless suffering, I finally invested in those “clean cuisine” non-latex disposable gloves. And they work IF you remember to use them – Ha! I subscribe to Ina’s timeline, the backward countdown. I also like her Hostess Gift (in lieu of flowers) idea…a Chocolate Cornucopia from Cocoa Pod. It’s filled with truffles, assorted chocolates and can be ordered online (budget permitting ;). Ellie, have a great Thanksgiving and let us know how you survived the bloopers and blunders ;) Y.H.!? Maybe I’m just reading into it.

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  23. I would have a meltdown, too, if someone brought a store-bought pie to my dinner. In my family, the homemade pies are EVERYTHING!!!

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  24. Hi Ellie, I'm dying to hear about TEDDY!!! Sooooo sweeeet!!!! B xxoo

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  25. Dear Ellie O'Connell, I'm relatively new to your blog, only a few months, but I was first drawn by its title, "Have Some Decorum," a directive from my father when I was just a little kid, especially when he and my Mum took me and my younger sister to "white tablecloth restaurants," from the time we were no longer drooling, snotty-nosed toddlers. From then on, he always insisted we learn to behave "with decorum," even at our dinner table at home. Not a bad lesson. Luckily, like you, it seems, I've learned to "have some decorum," yet to speak my mind and drop the "F-bomb" when I deem it appropriate. Love, love, love your blog!

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  26. In Oz we don't normally celebrate Thanksgiving so I don't have any tips or stories about it.

    But I can relate to your prediction of disaster - of something always going wrong. When we lived in Colombo, Sri Lanka, this was so true, and always on the most important of occasions. The first time our new High Commissioner invited the President to a reception, his wife spent weeks planning and getting everything beautiful. But the day of the reception the monsoon started and the drains filled up. So the many creatures that lived there lost their homes suddenly.
    Just as the President was walking the reception line at the entrance to the residence, a gigantic rat galloped up, crossed his path and entered the house. The butler, who'd been waiting at the door with a silver drinks tray, lost his head. He forgot there were drinks on the tray and took after the hapless rat, slamming the tray down several times! Our High Commissioner and the President were horrified witnesses.
    For our first big reception I went to enormous efforts to be prepared - back-ups for everything. The house looked beautiful - fresh flowers, orchids and greenery, all drinks and food fine. Lots of candles and lamps in case of power cuts (all too likely event), many buckets of water in case of water cuts (also possible). Both a gas and an electric stove - so at least one would work. Extra staff borrowed to help keep drinks and food circulating.
    As I was leaving an afternoon with friends to return home and dress for the evening they said, "Something will go wrong, it always does". I was so confident though and told them we were prepared for anything, fingers crossed. So wrong!
    What I hadn't prepared for suddenly became apparent only about half an hour before guests were due. We started receiving phone calls, all with the same story. "I'm so sorry. We'd love to have come to your party this evening, but we've only just got the invitation now!" I think I kind of died. We wondered if anyone would come.
    But later discovered that the office messenger had hand delivered about one third of the invitations (to the local VIPS) at the correct time - about two-three weeks before. The rest were not delivered - who knows why. Then on the day he suddenly realised he had a whole heap still to deliver, freaked out and rushed around Colombo slipping them under people's doors.

    So we'd catered for about 80 and 20 people came. However, they were all the really important people, like heads of government departments, editors of newspapers etc. We explained what had happened. They were unfazed. Husband said it was one of the best and most productive receptions ever because there were no distractions. Everyone got down to business discussing the important issues and they settled so much that evening.

    Only we had a whole heap of food left over. Our house servants and the ones we'd borrowed from neighbours went the rounds giving it to people who needed it. It wasn't wasted - but still a costly mistake. It never happened again. There was another tale about the German Ambassador who'd invited people to dinner and ushered them to seats in his reception room. One of the guests said "Isn't that a cobra under the coffee table?" It was! Luckily that was a disaster we missed out on. Best wishes, Pammie

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  27. I don't have much to add to the above. Organization is key...which isn't a problem as the husband and I are OCD control freaks. I do the backwards countdown sheet, a party life-saver. Please don't bring flowers to a busy hostess. If someone brings flowers I dump them in the laundry room in a bucket, where hopefully they'll be remembered later. And I really don't want "help" and if someone brings something I cross my fingers they put their food in their own (labeled) container. I hate scrambling looking for the perfect serving pieces for their thing when I'm cooking. It's not attractive but I pull out a cooler or big bin/bucket and fill it with sparkling water and Prosecco, etc. I need the fridge for other things...I don't think it's important to blow the budget on fine wine...serve Prosecco or something sparkly. It's festive and goes with turkey. If it's an option I always set the table the day before, with the decor attended to and the linens ironed. But ironing for me is relaxing and zen...if you hate it find another way to nicely set the table.

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  28. Whew..im glad im just in charge of sweet potatoes with marshmellows...or so I thought, mom wants me to bring something 'green' also...say what?? Greek salad? No...green bean casserole? No.. broccoli with hollandaise? Yes but no sauce, steamed broccoli me: mom nobody wants just steamed broccoli....im making hollandaise sauce too damn it! Happy thanksgiving! xoxo

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  29. You are a riot. Happy Thanksgiving!

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  30. I read the whole thing, 40 comments included.... You Elie, as always, adorable, funny, irreverent, the best! Dying to check

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  31. Dying to check Stephen's blog, and I don't know who Stephen is! And I need to know who is the lady who's talking about presidents and rats, Cobras and more... What is she talking about? I'm dying to know!! I home you had a fun and delicious Thanksgiving and please do tell how your Philippine assistants did in all their new tasks! Waiting for your next post beautiful Elie!

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