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What Does Sick Look like, Lisa?




As you know, I am obsessed with the entire Real Housewives franchise because I am shallow and have a lot of time on my hands. However, it must be pointed out that the sociology of the Real Housewives is trΓ¨s interesting. Whether you know it or not or even want to admit it, watching the Housewives is a study in social anthropology. It’s like watching wild animals in their natural habitat.

For whatever reason, the filming of the Housewives brings out the worst in its characters. The seven deadly sins are fully represented every week… Gluttony, pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath and sloth. However, last week a whole new sin was introduced… Stupidity. This 8th cardinal sin was brought to us by none other than Lady Lips herself, Lisa Rinna.

Let me set the stage and get you up to speed in case you missed last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. My friend, Yolanda Hadid, one of the housewives, has neurological Lyme disease. It is a mysterious disease, difficult to diagnose and so far, impossible to cure. But it’s got another little special side effect… With Lyme disease, you don’t actually LOOK sick. Nothing about Lyme disease screams, “Look at my Lyme disease!” So, our dear Lisa Rinna had the nerve/gall/balls/ignorance to accuse Yolanda of faking her illness and even went so far as to accuse her of having Munchhausen Syndrome which, by the way, Lisa had to Google.

Now, I know I should just let this go and not let it bother me… But it does and if you know me, I’m going to talk about it. Who am I to talk about it? I am two things: I am Yolanda’s friend and I also happen to be sick, very sick, actually the sickest so I know what I’m talking about.

June 2011. I called Yolanda exactly 20 minutes after I was diagnosed with ALS. Her response was, “Don’t worry, we will go through this together.” She didn’t question me, she didn’t question my diagnosis, she didn’t Google Munchhausen syndrome. She was just plain and simple… There for me.

2012 or so, Yolanda got sick but she didn’t tell me. She didn’t want anything, including her illness, to diminish or take away attention from my ALS if you can understand that. I would call her every other day and she would ask how I was and I would tell her what was going on with me that day… I fell, I can’t lift my arms up, I can’t breathe very well, I can barely swallow, I have anxiety… Blah blah blah. I would ask her how she was and she would answer, “I’m fine.” I didn’t know that she actually wasn’t fine. Her Lyme disease was tearing her apart but she never told me. She suffered in silence. She always put me first. Never complained to me once. Is that Munchhausen, Lisa?

By the second year of her illness, I realized that she was very, very sick and a whole new side of our friendship developed. We could commiserate, in private. We talked doctors, treatments, Eastern and Western medicine, stem cells, hyperbaric chambers, blood transfusions, supplements, oxygen therapy, surgeries, clinics, researchers, fundraisers… You name it, we discussed it, but only amongst ourselves. It wasn’t until later that we both became more vocal about our illnesses. I did because I have no boundaries or filters. Yolanda did to help others, to be their voice.

Sometimes neither of us would leave our houses for weeks and we understood that it was okay. We have taken a backseat to the world right now. We both talked about how we felt like flies on the wall watching life go by us. I physically was paralyzed and Yolanda was mentally paralyzed. We joke that we should morph our two bodies, mine mentally and Yolanda’s physically, and then we would be a whole person again.

We watched our children become more independent because they had to because on a certain level we couldn’t be the mothers that we once were. We physically and mentally couldn’t be. This is the most difficult challenge of being sick. I didn’t get to take Gracie to her first day of college. Yolanda didn’t get to go to Gigi and Bella’s Tom Ford fashion show or drive Anwar to school. We didn’t get to be there when our children needed us, when they needed our support. We didn’t get to bask in our children’s glory quite frankly, and trust me, we live for that shit. Is that sick enough for you, Lisa?                                                     

We haven’t been able to be the wives that we wanted to be to our husbands. My David hasn’t ever had a wife who could stand up. My David hasn’t seen me in high heels since 2010. My David hasn’t had a life outside of caring for me 24 hours a day since 2011. Yolanda’s David only saw her healthy one year of their marriage, if that. Yolanda used to go with her David to every event, concert or fundraiser that he was performing at. That all stopped and David lost his partner. My David lost his partner as well. Yolanda and I just physically and mentally couldn’t do it anymore. Do you think that we wanted this to happen? Is that sick enough for you, Lisa?

And this brings me to my beef with Lady Lips, Lisa Rinna. What is sick supposed to look like, Lisa? Just because you cannot see something, does that mean it is not there? If you accuse Yolanda of not looking sick, you might as well accuse me of not being sick as well. I went to Italy last week to a farmers market, does that mean I’m not sick? Yolanda went on a gondola ride in Aspen yesterday, does that mean she’s not sick? Look a little deeper, Lisa… While I was at the farmers market in Italy, I couldn’t taste the samples of Parmesan cheese because my throat won’t let me swallow from years of ALS. While Yolanda was in Aspen, she couldn’t go skiing because she was physically exhausted from years of Lyme disease. But you didn’t see this because you didn’t look deep enough. What is sick supposed to look like, Lisa? Lift up my shirt and you will see a feeding tube and a diaphragm pacer inserted under my skin. Lift up Yolanda’s shirt and you will see scars from having her implants removed and a scar from her antibiotic port. Is this sick enough for you, Lisa?

I can’t walk. Yolanda can’t drive. I cannot breathe on my own. Yolanda can’t stay awake more than two hours at a time. How many buckets of tears must we shed for you to deem us sick, Lisa? Yes, Yolanda is still gorgeous, and I am sorry if this is confusing you but guess what? She is sick. No, Lisa, she doesn’t want to be sick. She doesn’t want the attention. She wants to be well. She doesn’t want to struggle. She doesn’t want her life to be watched from the sidelines. She doesn’t want to miss out on her children and their lives. She never wanted to disappoint her husband. She never wanted to disappoint her friends. She never wanted you to judge her.

So next time you decide to form your little witch’s circle and cackle at the fact that you think someone is not sick just because you don’t see it, think again.

I hope I have clarified things for you. I will patiently await your apology towards Yolanda and on behalf of everyone who is sick but doesn’t look sick, according to you. I accept apologies in the form of gifts especially Cire Trudon candles.

Yolanda is much more polite than I am and she only mentioned that some people (you) do not understand long-term illnesses. I am not that polite and I will just say… See you next Tuesday.

118 comments:

  1. A friend of mine has been told he had lyme disease in LA but apparently it is a mild case of it but the issue is that the National Health service in the UK don't like to acknowledge lyme disease to a varying degree and it gets complicated. He had one round of antibiotics but they are saying he is cured now so it must be something else whereas the doctors he had in LA and in Manila have approached it differently so it is a complex issue even with health professionals in how to deal with the disease. It is hard to see from the sidelines as my friend now is having to go private to get tested and treated which he can only just about afford. But I suppose it is how mental illness was treated and viewed upon decades ago and in some areas to this day.

    Truth be told, I think Lisa is only stirring the pot because she wants to get in the headlines and wants an invite back to the next season of RHOBH. Even for the housewives franchise, this is a new low - makes breaking wineglasses in a public arena seem positively genteel.

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    1. I am a silicone survivor or I should say victim. Every reaction that Yolanda is experiencing is from the Silicone. I have written information that we were given. There never has been a settlement. This 100 billion dollar company was allowed to file bankruptcy. They then resumed putting these petroleum base products in women's bodies. The slip in my implant box said 3 year shelf life. My tissue was tested and proved it was there. There is so much to tell her.
      I pray for you both. I would be happy to answer any questions you or she would ask.

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  2. Word. I live in Connecticut - home of the "Lyme" in Lyme Disease. My daughter contracted Lyme disease as an eight year old and after the failure of two courses of oral antibiotics had to have an IV put in her arm with a portable pump that she walked around with 24/7 for more than a month. Thankfully this treatment worked for her but it was terrifying for all of us at the time. My sister-in-law has suffered from Lyme disease for decades and for some it can be, as you stated, a debilitating, long term illness. Lisa Rinna is just playing for the camera. Her desperation to revive her career is more important than being civil. All one need to do is Google this disease to see how mis-diagnosed, pervasive and dangerous it can be. Good for you for speaking out for your friend.

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    1. Thank you for writing this. Lisa needs to go! What a shallow person.

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    2. If Lisa had bothered to Google Lyme Disease first, instead of Munchhausen Syndrome, it would have saved her from looking like an idiot.

      Someone should ask her why she felt no need to educate herself on a disease she wanted to question!

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    3. Dear Ellie, you are the type of friend who most people do not have. You are loyal beyond words. Personally I think Lisa Rinna would do or say anything to stay on this show. She is definitely short on options. Whatever she has had shot into her lips has leaked to her brain.

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    4. Dear Ellie, this was a powerful blog and brought me to tears, I too have a neurological disorder, and have been undergoing tests for the past year, I am 41 and as a former model do not 'look' sick, so I have the deepest respect to Yolanda, and empathy because she is shining a light on what most of us hide, myself included, pretending to be ok when we're not, making excuses - all these things that affect our every day life and most certainly our relationships with those we love. Your blog is testament to your loyalty to your friendship with Yolanda, and she most definitely deserves that. You may know more about the in depth conversation between Lisa and Yolanda, but I would just like to point out that Lisa is repeating what ppl are saying to her, she is confused, as many of us are, since there is so little information out there, and or it takes so much time to be properly diagnosed and treated. Yolanda herself has said that the silicone compounded the existing lyme disease, I think we all want to see Yolanda healthy again, she is such a vibrant person, and continues to be so despite her suffering. Lisa R was bringing up a topic others had brought to her, as you pointed out she herself had to google it, its a case of 'shooting the messenger', but I think Lisa can bite the bullet on this one, and in so doing both ladies will open up a much needed dialogue that can benefit all of us who are suffering, and all of those who question it, and perhaps some much needed understanding can take place. xoxooxoxo

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    5. I believe Lisa R showed up at Lisa V house and yes she said someone had brought it upto her. But I believe she was indeed trying to bait Lisa V and Kyle into talking/gossipping about Yolonda and Lisa V basically shut it down by saying she didn't want to think or talk that way about Yolonda. I do believe Lisa R was trying to start trouble!!!

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  3. This is why I cannot watch this show. :( I know it's for the camera and to create a story but girl it is UUUUGHly. I am glad your David has not abandoned you. I wish Yolanda's David hadn't. Illness separates the Men from the boys.

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    1. Yes it does my ex divorced me because of Lyme! Not a man!

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  4. Hail Ellie, tell it like it is, this Lisa's disease is she is Hollow...no heart.....I know how you both feel, I have been there....
    even if one hasn't had such challenges, it is obvious Lisa is simply "hollow".....she too has to "serve "somebody", quote: Bob Dylan....

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  5. ....that being said...HOW BAD IS EILEEN'S HAIR????

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    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. ❤️πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ™πŸ»❤️πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ™πŸ». So well written, Ellie. You're such a great friend to have standing in Yolanda's corner. As a nurse (I work with heart failure patients and heart transplant patients) I see this all the time. People just don't get it.
    Everyone is just trying their best in this world. Can't we just support and love one another? Thanks for posting. Sending you love and light and a big hug (and a high five ! Girl power!)

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    1. Yes, I am also a nurse who just happens to have Lyme disease. It was he worst time of my life. I had to stop working for 3 months (I love my job!) and walked with crutches and couldn't think straight. I was fortunate enough to have wonderful friends like you. I love Yolanda for bringing Lyme into the public view when we so badly need better healthcare support. Thankfully, I am better now, but live with the residuals every day. I don't hate Lisa (hate is toxic and I have enough toxicity in my body already!), I'm actually glad she did this, because now we are all talking about what a silent disease looks like from the inside!

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  7. Amen, Ellie. You are (as usual) spot on. Bless the children of those with chronic illnesses. My youngest was only 7 when I was struck by my terrible, life-changing headaches six years ago. Those of us who are mothers know that this is the most difficult part of the whole lousy thing. When I read your blog, I think about Gracie and always wish her the best. I don't "look" sick - and I try not to act sick. There are days that I KNOW I should win the Academy Award for just getting through the day! All of that doesn't mean squat. Yolanda is gorgeous - and she sounds like a kind, amazing person. Anyone who questions the truth of her illness should kiss her a$$.
    Michelle from Santa Barbara

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  8. Lisa Rinna - what a piece of work. Yes, I saw the episode. Not only was her conduct immoral, it was also completely derivative which should be a one way ticket to reality TV's purgatory. Ms. Lips shamelessly lifted a story line from the last series of RH of Orange County episodes wherein Vicki's boyfriend purportedly faked his cancer. She obviously has nothing spontaneous and original to add to reality TV. She needs to be ushered to the curb.

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  9. THIS. This is so important for people to learn. Thank you for putting it so clearly for all of those who think it's okay to judge the health of others just by what they see in a few seconds, a few minutes or a day. My little girl has an acquired brain injury from contracting bacterial meningitis as an infant and lives with this type of judgement EVERY DAY. She gets this from strangers, a few of our friends and even from some of our family.

    She looks fine when she walks a short distance and a stranger asks "why is such a big girl in a stroller?"...but they don't know that she will fall down from fatigue if she walks too far. She looks fine...until she picks up an illness from someone, even though we've gently asked you to stay away if you're sick, and then spends weeks or months sick. She looks fine to the rude elderly person (it's almost always an elderly person) in line who tells me that she needs better manners when she can't tolerate the sensory overload in a hot, busy, loud store. This is one of the biggest fears I have for my daughter when she is older....the ignorant judgement of others and what this will mean for her. Thank you for your post!!

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  10. Well said. As I watched that episode I thought "Ellie will have something to say about this." So glad you did.

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  11. ....that being said...HOW BAD IS EILEEN'S HAIR????

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  12. As Kyle said, discussing this topic was a good time for Lisa to keep those big lips closed. ;) I think Yolanda's raising a more widespread awareness of this disease is SO commendable, and as I understand it, is one of her objectives as part of her search to find a cure for Lyme. Gosh I hope she does. That woman has a kind spirit and soul. Where I live part time in Germany, doctors offer vaccinations against Lyme (a series of 3 shots, then 1 every year I think). I've heard that although there's a correlation between ticks and Lyme, Lyme can also be contracted in other ways. It's a misunderstood illness.

    Thanks to Yolanda Hadid, I went for my first Lyme inoculation last year, when my German Dr. asked for my address, and when I told him, he ran out the door before I could finish (my German sucks so he prob. lost his patience ...) and he and the 2 nurses ran around like nutsos trying to get the first needle in me ASAP -- apparently, I live in a dangerously high tick area. Insurance even pays for the vaccine but I've heard the FDA hasn't approved it in the U.S. I wish your friend Yolanda only good, and as Vanderpump said, Rinna's gossip about this will "explode"!! Is it Tuesday yet?

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  14. Ha! How great is it that the show happens to be on Tuesday?!
    You are so funny!
    I guess I'm the only one who got it. Hee!
    Sheila

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  15. are you kidding me? Thank God I don't watch this crap. I would have thrown something at my TV.

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  16. This is something so important because there are so many illnesses that may not make people look debilitated. Something to remember when one sees a person in the handicapped parking spots as well.To not judge.

    xoxo
    Karena
    The Arts by Karena
    India Hicks Sale!

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  17. I have a liver disease called, Primary Biliary cirrosis. My autoimmune system destroyed the bile ducts in my liver and my liver is slowly dying. I suffer from indescribable fatigue, sometimes pain and the gift of PBC is that one collects other autoimmune diseases with it. I'm up to four now. I don't look sick but most days I'm too tired to do a lot. I live with constant flu-like symptoms. I live a fraction of the life I had before PBC. I'm so sick of being told "you don't look sick." If my outside reflected how I feel I'd probably never leave the house. On my journey through illness I have discovered that a lot of people in my life are selfish, insensitive and superficial. Or they have the "cure" for my illness. "Maybe if you just kept busy and didn't think about it." "Maybe if you exercised more." I never talk about how I feel because people don't really care. I grew up with a mother that always said, "laugh and the world laughs with you...cry and you cry alone." It's annoying but the gift of illness is that I've learned who the valuable people in my life are. I've done a lot of culling. I've lost my filter. I've learned to prioritize. And the real gift is that I've become more sympathetic. I think seeing how the Housewives have dealt with Yolanda's
    Illness has really shown their true, shallow narcissistic characters. You can put lipstick on a pig...it's still a pig. The same theory applies to people. No amount of plastic surgery and make up can change a bitch. She's still a bitch.

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    1. I agree with you that suffering causes the best characteristics of you to come out. This is why the poor characteristics of others becomes so obvious. It's shocking to see how clueless some people are. It's as though they have no idea what being human is.

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    2. I agree with you that suffering brings out the best characteristics of you. This is why the poor characteristics in others becomes so obvious. It is shocking, sometimes horrifying and disappointing to see how clueless some people are about humanity. Unfortunately, there are people whom never learn to be human. They miss the whole point.

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  18. CAN someone please tell me.............these SHOWS that I do not watch is there NO SCRIPT?Does the PRODUCER just give them a line and "THEY GO FOR IT?"!!
    It sounds like YOLANDA is an INCREDIBLE FRIEND..............I read somewhere recently in one of the MAGAZINES that circulate Doctors offices US, PEOPLE.........one of those that YOLANDA and DAVID are divorced!!!!That shocked me as I think of them as a couple since YOU are always talking about them.I hope that is not true and He is there for HER too.
    SORRY ELLIE.........your favorite show and they UPSET YOU!!!
    I am HEAR TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!I made your MOM's BEEF WELLINGTON Last night and BOY OH BOY was it delicious!My FIRST ONE EVER!!!AND Now I am making myself HAPPY as there is enough Leftovers for TONIGHTS DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    XOXO

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  19. RHOBH used to be my favorite housewives show, but I quit all of them because I can't stand watching privileged people act so uncivilized.

    However, I knew Yolanda's illness was being questioned because you can't get away from the headlines even if you don't watch the show.

    You know what? Lisa's attitude is prevalent at every level of society. People are stupid. MOST people think nothing of delivering opinions left and right on subjects they've never spent a millisecond reading about.

    It's disheartening.

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  20. I was horrified and disappointed when those words came out of Lisa's mouth. Just mean and nasty. Yolanda doesn't deserve that. I hope you get your candles.

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  21. Wait! What about Lisa's stupid 'winged' hair that she's worn for 30 years?? Really? And I thought she was horrible last year to Kim, constantly on her about drinking, wouldn't let it go. Why is it HER business? Where is her caring?

    I LOVED Yolanda's response the next day, full of subtleties that I guarantee Lisa didn't understand and likely most of them didn't. And yet I also LOVE your ''let's hit her over the head with a sledge hammer in case she's too thick to understand Yolanda's words'' response!!! :) It feels sooo good to get it out! Teehee. Bravo Ellie!!

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    1. I read the blogs at BRAVO.

      Yolanda gives details of all the testing she's been through. Lisa, on the other hand, weasels out of it by distracting the reader with anything and everything else going on in the show, before finally admitting she's not a doctor and concocting some ridiculous and lame excuse about why she questioned Yolanda.

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  22. Your David is the best David around. And you are the best Best Friend to Yolanda.

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  23. Spot on. I wish you had been there to set her straight. Now that would have been a great show!
    Your voice of sarcastic reason is a breath of fresh air.

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  24. Hi Ellie, this was a great speech and I hope she reads this. I have seen people who are very I'll but you would never know it. Can one do their best to be attractive when they are sick or do they have to go everywhere "looking" sick, pale and unkempt? People don't want to look sick when they are very ill. People like Lisa are unbelievable and do not deserve one ounce of credibility. Shame on her and anyone like her.

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  25. Lipsa (no, that wasn't a typo) has to come up with a story line, and last season is was to create drama for someone with a drinking problem, even calling her an addict. So now, she is focusing on the lovely Yolanda's illness. Too bad for her that she needs to feed of the problems or illnesses of other to make herself look better or interesting. She needs to be shown the door. Now, we will mostly likely see Lipsa stir the pot even more, and then 'act' all innocent under the guise of "helping". As for Yolanda, I've always admired her for always being classy, and truthful. She's beautiful inside and out, which is one of the reasons that I enjoy the BH episodes.

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  26. Thank you, Ellie, for speaking about this on your blog and for speaking in support of Yolanda. I am SO glad she's using the show to bring more attention to Lyme disease and invisible illnesses. I have several autoimmune conditions and one disease that is just beginning to get funding for research. I'm very tired of people saying, "but you look great" when I feel like I have the flu a lot of the time and am close to collapse from the overwhelming fatigue. Or I should just pull myself up by my bootstraps and think positive and the disease will go away. Wow. Really?! There are thousands (millions?) of us who would love to be able to do that and have it work. My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Told me if I wasn't sick so much, it would be easier for him to be nice to me. That pretty much told me everything I need to know about him so not too sad about the breakup. Just disappointed in his lack of compassion or empathy. Happy for you that David supports you - what a blessing! Thank you, again. Blessings from Mizz M in Washington State.

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  27. Well written and point made. You are a true friend. You find out who your real friends are during times of illness, bereavement or loss of money. Thank God for Yolanda shedding a light on Lyme disease. I didn't understand her reasons until the last episode. Godspeed.

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  28. love to both you and Yolanda.There are some real shits out there.Liz

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  29. People should not speak of things they know nothing about....my heart is heavy for you & Yolanda.....yup just how ill do we have to look?? ♡♡

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  30. Hope you're having a good Christmas Season, surrounded by the warmth and love of family. I'm glad Yolanda is bringing much needed publicity to a widely misunderstood illness. Perhaps Ms Rinna has helped by garnering even more publicity.....we can hope!

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  31. Oh Ellie, if only people like Lisa R. would realize the age old adage is true, "until you walk in that person's shoes..." foolish comments like hers makes me sad :(

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  32. Oh dear. I was in the midst of writing a big ol'response when my Yee Olde Laptoppe cut out for no reason. Maybe life was telling me to keep it simple? :)

    So I will just say that you and Yolanda are amazing women who are raising awareness about the realities of two unknowable (unless you are in the midst of it) chronic illnesses and that makes that other woman look just...sad (not to mention by the sound of her nickname she must look pretty sad already). From the responses here, it seems as though no one took her seriously and that in itself is a little victory, no?

    Appearances vs. reality can often be a slippery slope in so many ways...yes, I am full on in my "Sentimental Overview of the Year" mode so perhaps that is why that fantastic quote hit home so hard. I don't know Yolanda but admire her as your friend and am grateful to you both for being true. I know you will keep fighting the good fight.

    Sending much Love and Strength, everyday and always, from just over the (cloudy - I'm sorry!) hills of Provence,
    H

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  33. Dear Ellie, I am so glad that you are angry about this, it was a horrible and mean spirited thing to say to someone who is clearly very sick. I have followed Yolanda on Instagram because any friend of yours is a friend of mine. It has been apparent to me that she is a very kind and private person who has put her feelings aside to make Lyme a recognizable and real disease and she has done so to help others. People, sadly, often find their value by taking it away from others. Your friend Yolanda will always shine and Lisa Rhinna will always be the bitch with the deformed lips, I have learned that at the end, karma always evens things out.
    Hugs
    Lourdes

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  34. Give her a commercial spot for Lyme awareness but make sure she gets 6 figures for it. Maybe then she won't be so ignorant.

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  35. Not only are all these diseases horrible, the "cure" is often just as bad. A 60 year old friend with chronic Lyme was in a clinical trial at NIH (National Institute of Health - the Big Dog in health care) and the antibiotics left her writhing on the floor for hours at a time. She has never been "cured" and has acquired more AI diseases to go along with it. A 30 year old friend of my daughter, underwent a hysterectomy to "cure" her of her ailments for what is now diagnosed as Lyme. A gorgeous creature, she remains at 30% of normal function. For anyone, it takes a phenomenal amount of energy to just heal from the trauma of illness, broken bones, minor accidents, emotional upsets, etc. And who heals quickly from the loss of a loved one either by death or abandonment, if ever? Healing saps all your systems. Undiagnosed Lyme disease (and the other parasitic diseases that often accompany it) do not conform easily to testing or curing - so many feel awful and haven't "tested" positive for the disease, only to have it confirmed months or years later. All these diseases require advocates, so these goofy housewives could have rocked Hollywood into activism. Beyond stupidity they squandered a chance at real stardom.

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  36. Thank you so much for writing this. I have lyme disease and I have cried more tears than I would care to admit over this fiasco. I remember on the show when someone approached Yolanda and told her about the ice bucket challenge, she said "I want to do it right now." When they said she didn't necessarily have to do it right that second, she said "No, you don't understand, my best friend has ALS and I want to do anything I can to bring awareness." (I'm paraphrasing) I am glad that she has that same kind of friend in you. You know what I find interesting? When she wears makeup or looks more like her usual self, people don't believe her. But when she doesn't wear makeup and you can tell she doesn't feel good, they still don't believe her. That or they talk smack about her having the nerve to go without makeup. What do they want? It's really hard to watch the way they treat her, and it really hits too close to home.

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  37. I don't watch these programs because they seem like scripted madness as one woman insults another and glasses of wine fly through the air in response. My question is how much of Lisa Rinna's "comments" are scripted - and approved - by the producers? They're the ones who put the show together and are encouraging the madness. Encourages viewership which leads to greater profits.

    That said, Lisa Rinna is a bitch...

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  38. Hi Eli, you might remember that I am one of those people that doesn't look sick , so this post resonated with me greatly. I am still recovering from a head injury sustained from an explosion and to this day people don't get it. Friends thought I was making it up as well....life long friends. I have taken this crude awakening to my meditation teaching and personal practice. Love, gentleness and kindness to self and others. Most days this is hard to do. Sending you and Yolanda much healing light and love. xob

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  39. I just don't get how she thinks this could play out? Like could she have imagined that she would look like anything other than an ass? Not to mention Lisa is tending a seed planted by Taylor Armstrong, of all people.
    But the good news is that now Yolanda can angle for more money next season because they'll need her to wrap this dumbass storyline up.
    Housewives is an interesting examination of modern society. They basically have two fights per storyline, one in the moment and in person, and another as the show airs on social media. They fight once and resolve based on their own feelings and then fight again based on spectators' feelings. It's a funny, blurry line between the theater they create and then their actual hurt feelings that they didn't anticipate.

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  40. Bravo (no pun intended) for writing this. Writing this for Yolanda, yourself and all the other silent warriors who struggle day in and day out. The world needs more people like you, Ellie! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    B

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  41. You are a voice as well and the defender of your friends and are so very articulate!! Thank you. Hope you had a fabulous Christmas and I also hope you receive oodles of Cire Trudon candles!! Happy New Year.

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  42. Perfectly stated. How dare anyone judge, opine (whatever) when they are not walking in the other's shoes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Be well and please keep it up. xoxo Mary

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  43. Thank you for your for this. The lyme community has suffered enough. Ignorance and shame on Andy Cohen for airing this and questioning someone's illness. Yolanda us a brave and inspirational woman. God bless you and her back to wellness.

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  44. Such a horrible thing to say privately much less on national TV. I have never ever watched that show nor have I ever watched any of the those ridiculous time wasting reality shows. I'm far too busy to even think about these shallow & stupid women but I am familiar who Lisa is. Isn't Lisa the one with her lips turned inside out and who advertises for Depends? So she spews urine out of her mouth and in her pants too I guess. My heart goes out to anyone who suffers from any illness whether it shows or not! You just can't fix stupid.
    The dumbing of America is so disheartening isn't it.

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  45. Like the other responses .. I am so glad that you've written this! There is not necessarily a "look" to illness. Some people suffer in silence. Yet, your friend Yolanda, has decided to be in the open. For this ONLY am I grateful that she is on Housewives. My initial thought would be that now Yolanda has helped this world to know of the debilitating disease that Lyme is, that she might consider leaving the show and keeping her strength & goodness for those beautiful children of hers.
    All of you do realize we're speaking of one of the (IMHO) lowest forms of entertainment, right? Lisa Rinna? who cares, in the big scope of things? Ellie, glad you let her know your truth! But you are far above this "reality" show. These shows are cut, edited and produced into anything and everything that will SELL - not reality!(speaking from a family members experience).
    Actually sounds like I'm telling each of you what not to watch... that was not my intention. Just those "realities" do NOT coincide with the truth, love, reality, life, peace, joy, pain that I've witnessed in my life - nor reading Ellie's beautiful pieces here.

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  46. I'm glad you called out Rinna because she really took it further than anyone else. But LVP and Kyle are not innocent. They've both been stirring the pot and then claiming some sort of higher ground.

    As if, it's unknown to them that some people have good days and bad days. While other illnesses can also be exacerbated by a lowered immune system.

    And so much more, to be blunt, LVP seemed like she would be targeting Yolanda from the very first episode this season. During her catty lunch with Kyle where she bring up that they really aren't close and Yolanda had a go at her.

    Yolanda asked LVP questions, that was it, all of the cast had similar questions. That LVP can't handle friends asking questions only reveals her.

    That said, I'm glad you've revealed what an unselfish friend that Yolanda was to you. That is the Yolanda I see on RHOBH. No matter how much the other ladies try and rewrite history and smear Yolanda.

    LVP has a strange obsession with Yolanda. I will reveal more at a later date but thanks again for writing this.



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    1. I 100% agree with this. LVP and Kyle are not innocent, they've been both stirring the pot and then claiming some sort of higher grand. Yes, these have been my exact same thoughts. I also agree that LVP has a strange obsession with Yolanda.

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  47. You tell 'em Ellie! The truth so very well put. I'd never watched any of the "housewives" shows and did so this time because you mentioned Yolanda. I was simply appalled. If Lisa said what the director told her to say, she has lost all sense of perspective about actual real life; if her remarks were her own, she is a pitiful example of womanhood. When someday she has her own cross to bear, perhaps she'll reflect with shame on her present hurtful attitude toward the suffering of others. Sending you and Yolanda love and hope.

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  48. Do you remember the show when her kids asked if everybody in this town is fat? She has parenting and people skills out the wazoo. And remember ALL THE YEARS she lied about her lip implants?
    Ugh, I know it is for the cameras but I think the ugliness is awful.
    Just hoping this shines a light on the illness of Lyme and any other disease that you can't "see".

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    1. Lisa's daughter also asked to be paid to go visit her own grandparents. Lisa is setting a terrible example for her daughters and every other human being. She will sink to new lows to make a buck.

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  49. I stumbled across your Blog, although the say nothing in life is just an accident. I must say that I am in love! You said it perfectly..sad that it even needs to be "explained". All I can say is I love you...XO

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  50. I love this blog, and Ellie I love your lack of a filter as I too seem to not possess one. However, If I could go slightly off-topic here for a moment I feel that I need to say something, and that is this.......I have never watched a reality show for more than a couple of minutes as I find them very troubling. I can't stand to see anyone picked on whether it is fictitious, or not, as it just resonates in my soul (and I'm not referring to any post here that is talking about L.R. but rather the overall context of these shows). The producing of these shows is just propagandizing a whole other sickness, and that is the sickness of bullying. In the U.S. aren't we doing all we can to teach our children not to bully, and yet here we are promoting it on T.V. in the guise of entertainment. How can we ever expect the bullying to stop as long as we are promoting so-called 'civilized' adults doing it to one in such a public manner. Okay, I feel better now.

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  51. Good Lord! What's up with her lips?! Surely they're not "real" but who on earth in their right mind would deliberately have those things installed?

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  52. My thoughts exactly!! I have wanted to say this to Lisa R. and Lisa V. Yolanda is one of the classiest of the housewives on Bravo. I must say, however, that Lisa V. is getting more vulgar and classless as the shows go on. Where is the beautiful, kind, and sophisticated Lisa P. we used to know. She makes such fun of her husband it is humiliating to watch. She is inappropriate with her staff in the bars (sexually) and thinks she is better than everyone. She was very lucky Ken married her years ago. Without him, she would be nothing. Getting back to you and Yolanda, I know chronic illness and live with it. I used to admire David Foster, but he is no longer "a man" in my eyes. My husband is a "real man". Someday soon, David will be ill and he will be able to fund a young woman to take care of him, but perhaps he will know how Yolanda felt when he decided to divorce her. Shame on him! David may be talented, rich and famous, but I will put my husband up against him any day, as he is much more. God Bless you and Yolanda and keep "hanging in there".......

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  53. I watched the show only once, after hearing about it on your blog. There was some birthday party in a restaurant with a bunch of silly, overdressed, surgically enhanced men and women. Then Yolanda showed up dressed in a simple white pants and top outfit with no makeup. Although she was feeling unwell, she was by far the most beautiful woman there. She seemed brave and real. You two are lucky to have each other as friends. I have health problems myself, and often reflect on the unfairness of life, when mean spirited and small minded people seem often to enjoy good health. My best to you and your kind friend.

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  54. Hi my favorite Ellie! Anybody who wants to understand more about Lyme Disease can just google Amy Tan! She is a famous author; and has written many really great books: (The Joy Luck Club, among others)!
    Her story is a common one. She is actually lucky to have recovered her health. Her own research is what identified her illness.
    My sister-in-law (sister of my former husband; I didn't get a divorce from her!!) actually took her own life because of the devastating effects of Lyme disease. She was too far damaged because the diagnosis took so long; and had no health insurance thanks to having an unrelated "pre-existing condition" from childhood.
    I think you will find the Amy Tan articles interesting. Yolanda is trying to do the same thing! Educate!!! She perhaps may want to get in touch with Amy Tan!!!
    Keep up your wonderful work, Ellie!

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  55. Thank you for being a TRUE friend, I often wonder if any of them know what that means! Many chronic illnesses don't make you "look sick" and I also take it personally because with MS I don't look sick either. Also, rather than tell Lisa R it was ridiculous, Lisa V and Kyle sat participated and It made them all look ignorant, and if they were a friend they would have already researched Lyme disease and had an understanding of it! Thank you for writing this wonderful tribute to Yolanda and your're also in my prayers!

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  56. What would be a lovely outcome from this clearly vapid woman's attempt to gain the spotlight, is for her contract to be cancelled and her QVC sales to stop... sorry wrong way to play the "fame" card...

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  57. Thank you! I am young with bilateral nerve damage in both of my hands/arms for 5 years and it doesn't appear on emgs/ncvs/mris. I do not look *sick* either! People are so literal (and stupid)!

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  58. Yolanda loves her children more than anything in the world. Unless she felt the worst,she would never miss the fashion show. I feel so sorry that she has misses so many special events.She is beautiful inside and out.Classy lady!

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  59. Please know you and your family are in my prayers. If there is anyone that can fight and beat this that would be you. Your a wonderful Mom and it appears that you get this from your beautiful Mom. Please just take it one day at a time and know there is alot of fans praying for you.

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  60. Tayler at the dinner party started it. She was incredibly rude! I have been slandered too! Shes not really sick!!! By family, my dad's former wife, former inlaws etc. My "Christian" husband divorced me due to Lyme. I lost everything! I didnt qualify for disability with an attorney and thats poverty anyways. I have been prayed over 100 x plus other healing methods. Its not easy to find a cure. Its harder when people who are supose to stand by you abandon you! Slander you, and you are too ill to work, and broke! Yolanda is a hero to me! She is brave and is exposing the truth about this disease. Its real!!! Why isn't anyone mentioning Taylers big mouth? After what Tayler went through with her domestic violence she should have compassion and sensitivity. Nope!

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  61. Thank you Ellie!! You did good! xoxo

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  62. Lisa Rinna DID boast that she'd do anything for money, right? And what was up with Vandercramp saying, "I've known Mohammed and the kids for YEARS and this is the first I've heard mention of them eing sick!" I wasn't aware she was their step-mother. These shallow women throwing their two cents worth of comments in about Yolanda's condition is just sickening. My dad was diagnosed with Lyme disease several years ago & it was really scary to see how quickly it knocked him down. Thankfully, the treatment his doctor prescribed worked and he is cured, but I could not imagine seeing him suffer for as long as Yolanda has been suffering. I pray that she will recover and have a healthy-ever-after. I'm glad you have each other in your lives. Praying for you both❤️
    Teresa in Texas

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    1. Maybe you should let Yolanda know what cured your husband. She seems to have tried everything and nothing seems to help. I pray for her. She is so beautiful inside and out and deserves to be healthy and happy. No credit to her ex-husband. He doesn't have the compassion and strength that Yolanda has.

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  63. Thank you for speaking out & for being there. It's so up lifting to see your close & unconditional friendship with Yolanda. She is a strong willed woman as you yourself is. I'm so glad that I was able to see last nights episode of RHOBH. I've had this mystery diseases since 2001, & have been judged for the exact same reasons... "You don't look sick, how can you be in bed 1 moment & then be eating or going out to store... if you are sick?" "You must be faking it!" I'm so worn down & feeling so alone". This has REALLY taken a toll on my life. I'm always a go getter & id I want to travel or do something, nothing stopped me, ever. If I had to do it alone, I did it. Never giving it a 2nd thought that I won't because I'm alone at the time. I get in my car & go or drive 14 hrs to see my 1 & only fav Stevie Nicks... seeing FM 13 times front row 12 or 13 time during Say You Will Tour. Nothing stopped me. Except now. I have a hard time going to store for groceries. We moved from Colorado in Sept. 2005 to Florida where my husband wanted to be. It has been even harder due to my hate for this god forsaken climate & unhappy people down here. I miss Colorado so VERY much. Makes me hurt more each day. My family was in Colorado, Mother & sister, plus my daughter is still there but she doesn't speak with me. She's 33 & judgmentle. Saddens me so. But on Nov. 23 2011 I lost my sister who was 60.Then Nov. 17th 2011 lost my mother who was 77. Have been in this depression from the loss & not being home in Colorado. We tend to be so much more vulnerable when sick. My situation has been a domino effect. My doctor thought Lymes since the 1st but test always were negitve. I started with non alcohol liver disease had a biopsy which showed fibrosis stage 3 and beging of cirrhosis, liver so enlarged my ribs hurt, hurt to breathe. Then diabetes type 2. Then thyroid, graves disease, doctors said autoimmune disease. Was tested again thru yrs for Lymes with inconclusive results. Having the symptoms of unable to read in length, unable to retain any info. Hate it so much. Scares me so much! In 2004 I lost 118 pds + feeling better physically & was on meds that helped make my life in a daily acceptable for awhile. Then in moving to FL after the 1st yr & the crappy doctors here, have been unable to receive the meds I need. Did I mention? Oh yeah. I HATE it here in FL! If I could financially I would move back in a min to Colorado, with my hubby. He has been so supportive during these 14 yrs, but does take a major toll on our spouses. His family all saying & giving him a hard time, saying am faking. Am not sick... hummmm sounds so fimilair. ....I so understand this life of the silent illness's. Tired of tests... & even doctors down here blaming it on my weights.. in the last 9 yrs have gained back 60 pds due to not being able to work out. But luckily have stayed & not gained anymore. Did I mention? Being diagnosed with hyperthyroidism graves, I peaked at 298 pounds!!! That was strange. Anyhow, for those who don't understand a silent disease or are ignorant or just needing to be so judgemental, "Stop before you speak, as you may not take it back & words sting forever" thinking of you both ~ πŸ’– Sincerely, Dennise in FL πŸ’œis in Colorado

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    1. Have you been tested for lupus. It used to be thought that lupus only caused weight loss but more recently it is recognized that it may cause weight gain as well. Sorry for the oss of your mother and sister. It is important that you lose weight for yourself, not the doctors. Lose it gradually though if you have non alcoholic liver disease.

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  64. I feel like you're all being waaaaay too hard on Lisa. I do not have Lyme disease, but I do have CFS and my best friend has MS. I'm very experienced with people dismissing both conditions and friends disappearing. Yolanda is a total champ. It seems to me it was obvious that Lisa was uncomfortable with Taylor's negative, judgemental chatter at the birthday party, and then when Lisa brought it up with the other women, she clearly felt terrible about it. She's been beating herself up about it. Maybe there was more said off camera, or did I miss something? In my opinion, Lisa VDP has been WAY worse, and Taylor was the biggest see you next Tuesday of all--ironic considering she was married to a man who beat her in secret. Now that she's on the other side, she has zero compassion for someone dealing with a severe illness/trauma. OK, I've said my piece. To all of you suffering, God bless you, and I pray for your healing. I've never read this blog before, but Yolanda has been my fave housewife since she showed up and she seems like a truly amazing woman.

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  65. That was an incredible post and so beautifully written. You are so honest about your own illness, and too be so protective about Yolanda is what a true friend does. I am in awe of your passion, determination, honesty, love of life, and openness. Praying for you both. Your voice is being heard by so many. Sending positive thoughts.

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  66. You are an amazing friend and thank you! Lisa Rinna needs to just SHUT IT! I have a friend with Lyme's disease. She was a healthy, robust woman until 10 years ago. She was mis-diagnosed and was in advanced stages before proper treatment. She travels 8 hours from her home for treatment. She now weighs 80 lbs and her family worries constantly that she is going to pass. It is a terrible disease.

    I know personally what it is like to be treated inconsiderately as well. I have heart failure and lung damage caused by streptococcal toxic shock syndrome (S. pneumoniae) and Type A Influenza. To look at me I appear normal. What people on the outside don't see is the difficulty climbing a flight a stairs, grocery shopping, lifting, or normal everyday living. Like Yolanda I always say "I'm fine" and as my son says "You say you're fine even when your ass is on fire"! I have to remind people I am unable to do certain things. A support system of loved ones is very important. I would have died if not for my fiance. He stayed when he didn't have too. Wonderful partners are a true blessing.

    Many blessings to you and Yolanda in 2016. :)

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  67. Thank you!!! I have Rheumatoid Arthritis & have had it for 25 years now. When it's not flaring I can live a somewhat normal life but when it flares anything resembling normal goes out the window. Since nothing shows on the outside it seems to be really hard for some to accept that I'm sick on the inside. It still hurts when I get the doubting type questions from people or the eye rolls. Screw them. But as much as they may hurt me with their words & actions in the end it's ok they don't get it because that means they don't live with the chronic pain or illness. No one should have to & I would never wish this on anyone.

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  68. Hi, I am 28 and have been treating neuro lyme and coinfections for 10 years now, probably congenital though. Thank you to both you and Yolanda for bringing our journey to light and to words. You have a gift for words, and you are able to express some of the anger and disappointment I feel when people judge and misjudge me and my journey. I am so grateful to know that I am not the only one who feels this way - you are helping bring entire communities together. You are a great friend. It hurts to know I spent that last ten years of my life fighting an invisible illness, I feel my life and goals were taken from me before I even had a chance to being them. But I read a great book called "How to be Sick," which gives a buddhist approach the whole situation. And really, as bitter as it sounds, perhaps we weren't "owed" this time, or these abilities, or these experiences we have lost. Where was it written that our lives were supposed to go a certain way? It hurts, especially when the battle is an endless one, but that helps me stomach my struggle. None of us deserve this and what judgmental people on the outside don't understand is, is that illness doesn't discriminate - and they cannot fathom the amount of strength it takes to walk this journey daily. I pray for you and know that you will find your answers.

    Have you tried this yet?
    http://o3center.org/ConditionsCenter/Head-CNS-PNS/ALSandozone%20therapy.html

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  69. Your blog post on Lady Lips Lisa was so well written! Thank you for exposing Lisa for what she really is and that is a phony! You are Yolanda are soldiers of life - your battles are fought every day against your illnesses. You are brave and heroic and beautiful women that do not get credit for the wars you fight. For anyone to question or minimize what you deal with on a daily basis is shameless. I pray for both you and Yo and to a day when we find a cure for both of your diseases.

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  70. What an amazing friend you are! That is something Yolanda needs right now, because with friends like the RHOBH... Well you know how the rest of that saying goes. I was similarly horrified at the first episode where everyone was so critical of Yolanda for daring to leave her house without --GASP-- makeup! I mean, were they for real? Here is a woman fighting for her life, her health, her family who wants to see her healed, and they wanted to know why she didn't throw a little lipstick on????

    As a 41 yr old with a lifetime of health issues stemming from childhood cancer, people meet me and can't believe I've had several heart surgeries, back surgeries, chronic illnesses, etc. They say, "But you look so young, so healthy. You don't look like you are going in for major heart surgery!" Well...what does that exactly look like? Because I can crack a joke and try to keep up with my teenaged daughter, does that make me not a cardiac patient or a cancer survivor? Do I have to unbutton my shirt to show the the sternotomy scar that stretches from my neck to my stomach? Or the scar under my arm where the lemon-sized tumor was removed from when I was 18 months old? My sister's ex fiancΓ© once said he thought I was playing it up for sympathy. This was when the circulation to my legs was so diminished from the radiation damage had narrowed my descending aortic arch to a measly 5 mm and it felt like I was walking through molasses on a daily basis. But I LOOKED normal, so what was the big deal, right?

    I am so happy you have each other for support. I'm so disappointed in David Foster, but Yolanda is lucky to have her beautiful children and mother. Health is something that one should never take for granted. Shame on all those "friends" who doubted her. All I can say is that Karma is a bitch and BH seems to be full of them. Positive and healing energy to both of your beautiful and loving souls❣ Xxoo πŸ’—πŸ’–

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  71. I just want to applaud you for being such a loyal friend. I love Yolanda, I have ever since she first was on the show. My mother is from Europe and she and Yolanda are very much alike. My heart breaks for Yolanda, especially in this so very trying time for her.I can also relate to the "but she doesn't look sick". I was diagnosed a couple years ago with chronic fibromyalgia and lupus. I had been told by doctors, it was depression or just my imagination. I was finally diagnosed and was actually told I had it for at least a decade or longer before being diagnosed. My friends and family would say "but you don't look sick, I mean you really just don't look sick". It would hurt to hear that but I have come to the conclusion that they just couldn't handle what was going on or they just were not educated about what was wrong with me. I am currently not doing very well at all, there are days I can't get out of bed and I really just wonder why I am still around, but I will not give up. I hope that Yolanda and Yourself continue to support each other and that you both stay strong and I pray that all of us that are suffering from a "you don't look sick" condition and/or disease have better good days in the future.
    God Bless you and Yolanda.
    C.C.

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  72. Thank you for sharing the truth of what chronic illness does to a person and being a voice for Yolanda. While I don't know her personally, I so wish her well and am always cheering for her and wishing her the best with each week she is on the Housewives or posting on Instagram. A dear pastor, Kevin Kinchen , also has ALS and a local hospital did a mini clip to show how he hasn't let this disease steal his joy. I wanted to share this with you, as you also haven't let this illness take away your compassion, friendship, and hope. Be well! http://youtu.be/JSbRJQL_8JE

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  73. I have to thank you and Yolanda for bringing chronic illness into the spotlight. I was diagnosed with Chronic Lyme and several co-infections in June 2015 after a tick bite that gave me Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, setting off a chain of not so pleasant events that led my doctors to believe that I had been infected with Lyme and co-infections for years due to my inability to respond to conventional treatment. I, like Yolanda and her children, have spent my life with horses, they certainly didn't infect me with Lyme, but I spend most of my days outside in overpopulated deer habitats. One of my horses was diagnosed with Chronic Lyme last year and my vets and I are doing all we can to restore her health. It has been an uphill battle for both of us, but my hope is one day we will both be healthy enough to go for a ride down the trail pain free. Watching Yolanda on the show is like seeing myself, the desperation to find any treatment that may work, the comments that I don't look sick so how can I be so sick, the moments where just going out to dinner is too much for my brain to handle, or being told it's just all in my head. I commend her for sharing her story with viewers and am disgusted at the ignorance of her fellow cast mates. Chronic illness changes your life forever, NO ONE, wants to have their normal lives taken from them, all we can do is hope that there will be better days ahead and try all we can to get there. Health and happiness to you and Yolanda in 2016

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  74. New Year's Eve..... love to you Ellie:
    https://youtu.be/bbqkxUkaSn8

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  75. Thank you for this article. I hope Yolanda will hear all of these comments and how she is inspiring so many people. Thanks to you and Yolanda for sharing your life during this tough time. It has brought me so much comfort and inspiration, as I have been going through some similar issues. I am 36 and have been ill for 1 year now. I have also had'friends' telling me that I should just 'go back to work' and think positive, oh and I shouldn't spend all my time researching etc or in forums talking to other sick people. My whole life has been on hold and I will do any thing to get better. Seeing Yolanda dealing with her illness and the ignorance from the other cast members, reminds me of my life. Thanks for sharing, it takes courage.. which you and Yolanda have boundless amounts of!

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  76. God Bless you Ellie for being such a beautiful and amazing friend, not only to Yolanda but for telling Lisa "To stick it where it matters!!" She has a first line spot in hell, that's a FACT!!!! How DARE that mean, cold hearted Lisa EVER accuse Yolanda or anyone that they are not sick, when it is 1,000% clear as day that she is. Oh, it just makes me SICK to my stomach thinking that someone that she trusted and thought was her friend would ever say something so horribly sickening. I have stage 4 cancer and yes I'm sick but when I do have a day or week where I'm not on my death bed sick as hell, you better believe I'm out enjoying life!!!! Just because someone is enjoying a day of fun with there friends & family doesn't mean they are not sick, you UGLY HEARTLESS SOUL LISA RINNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bravo Ellie, you are an angel sent from God! I hope and pray that you get well and God shows his glory apon your body and takes away all your pain and suffering, as well as Yolanda. Yolanda, you are such a beautiful soul and I'm so so so sorry to hear about your resent heartache, that's the last thing you need when dealing with such a debilitating disease. My heart goes out to you both Yolanda and Ellie!!! God Bless you & your families! I know you already do but please stay positive as I know you will.

    Love, Blessings & Well Wishes to you both,
    Sherry
    xoxoxo

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  77. You and Yolanda have more courage and inner and outer beauty than anyone. Shame on LR. Best wishes to you and your family in 2016!

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  78. I'm sorry Ellie, but I just can't watch that program. The women seem to only talk trash each other. I nave never seen anything positive on the show. I often wonder how they chose the women who are on it.

    Send my love and concern to Yolanda and her family. And you know that I am sending you my fondest wishes for an excellent 2016. By the way, how is Gracie doing in the US?
    love
    Judy

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  79. Beautiful and brave blog post. I am sending kind thoughts your way. I have MS and have experienced similar attitudes from people. I look relatively normal but there's nothing normal about what I experience daily in terms of symptoms. I follow fellow MS patient, Richard M. Cohen. His blog post, "But you look so good" may be of interest. http://richardmcohen.com/but-you-look-so-good-3/ -- Michele

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  80. So many comments and so much support for this subject! Isn't that great? It shows that in our world the successful and lucky aren't the only majority. Many people have very bad health problems. And it takes a brave person like you Ellie to talk about it loudly!

    Several times in my live, I had the experience to "look good" while being sick. It puts one in the position to always justify and explain how exactly one is sick... Though I wish everybody being healthy, it is surprising to see how many people share this experience. And most of all it is good to see how many people have compassion and support for those who are sick.

    I wish you and your family a very happy New Near, Ellie!!! I wish you all the very best you can think of!!!

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  81. Beautifully said. Taylor started the ball rolling with the accusations, I guess she wants to be on the show again. I also have MS and have been told "but you look good" they'll never get it, unless they get it. I don't even try to explain it anymore. I am sorry that everyone who has written here is sick in one way or another, I wish you all peace, love and happiness.

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  82. I also have Lyme's Disease, having been diagnosed in 2011. I have short term memory issues and "brain hiccups". I, however, do not suffer like Yolanda. She is my hero and is beautiful, from the inside out. Thank you for sharing your and Yolanda's journey.

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  83. I enjoyed reading your blog, thank you for sharing your heart with us. I have two invisible diseases (Interstitial Cystitis & Fibromyalgia) and have faced many situations where I have felt judged. I tend to isolate myself these days due to such experiences. It's just as well, my energy level is so low, and I prefer to save my energy for my children and my husband anyways. Your comment about missing out on your children's activities and husbands life really hit home. I am sorry this is happening to you. I truly feel that Lisa R. only made those comments out of ignorance. She must not have experienced anyone with an invisible illness in her life. We all have to learn at some point. I am 43, and was diagnosed at 40, and this was a real eye opener to me. It has softened my heart and changed my perspective for the better. I wish for you and everyone that suffers lots of love and pain free days. Thank you again for sharing!

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  84. I have Myasthenia Gravis which is a neuromuscular disease. Only my family understands it's devastating effect on me. Others dont get it at all even when they see I have to use crutches to walk and a wheelchair for long distances. It's so difficult and sad to be judged by others when you already feel so weak and sickly. My sympathies are with Yolanda and of course you, Ellie, who struggle more than any of us. I am wishing you both love, comfort, and support in the new year.
    Love,
    Lindsay

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    1. You tell them girl, what a great post... these are very shallow people who have nothing better to talk about and who are also very jealous... so ignoring them is the best way to deal with it, just as Yolanda tries to do... I also have an impairment which is not visable but equally, is life changing... after a spinal operation to correct sciatica, I was left with a condition called Cauda Equina Syndrome which means that all my nether regions are paralysed and I have to deal with the evacuation of bladder and bowels, manually... cannot walk very far, and cannot count on my body to behave at any time it can let me down without warning as I have no sensations there.... but of course, I don't look ill, can get around without sticks, but I am disabled just the same... I don't have friends like that Lisa, so I am lucky, but I am sure from all the posts before me, everyone is pleased that you put it on the line! I am sure that you also struggle a lot, and I am sending hugs a million miles long from over here to over there to you... all the best and Happy New Year new friend.. janzi

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  85. Thank you for writing this. I too have suffered from Lyme disease, or whatever it is, since 3 weeks before my wedding day in September 2009. My husband has only known a sick wife. RHBH is my FAVORITE of the housewives series and while one season, I was so "over" Yolanda's behavior, I understand it was the Lyme disease in her brain making her a bit "crazy", for lack of a better word. I too had that. I would lash out and have rages. It's described as "Lyme rage" in the health circles. I am appalled by everyone questioning or being SO RUDE on housewives about Yolanda showing up to a dinner to be supportive and to stay in the loop. The lack of support from these people is ridiculous and almost to the point of maddening. Kick a girl while she is down, won't you? I have lost many an internet friend with Lyme disease to suicide. MANY. Lyme disease: You don't get it until you get it.

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  86. Oh dear Ellie...beautifully said with such honesty. Since the passing of our son Matthew, I know that people judge me on my grief-walk. My wound, a broken heart, is unseen and my tears are shed alone on my pillowcase. Bless you for trying to set the record straight for us. Yolanda & all of us....thank you!

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  87. I think people in general need to see "something" to be convinced of illness. I have an invisible illness. It sucks. You get tired of explaining why you can't participate. You get tired of playing a game from the sofa. I want to be a participant in my life! I praise Yolanda! Thank God for her and her ability to put focus on a club not one of us wants membership to. May we all find solace in our journeys and as for Lisa? Why have the time of day for someone who could use her platform for compassion and celebrity for invisible illnesses (all of them) instead of talking about something she knows nothing about. Gossip is like darkness, it will spread through the light if you let it, the key is to never open the door.

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  88. Sometimes when you have an invisible illness, there are those who will spread darkness because that's the reflection they see in the mirror. How they define you is not your truth, it's their own.
    Lisa could have chosen to use her celebrity to shed publicity on the struggle and challenges people with invisible illnesses face. She deliberately chose not to. Raising the question of a rare, serious mental illness, was grossly uneducated at its best, insensitive and cruel at its worst. In one inaccurate innuendo she damaged the reputations of many.
    When people don't understand, they will listen to whoever steps up to the mike. Even when that person will use whatever thin line of gossip they can hold onto to keep themselves relevant. Imagine you have ten spoons Lisa. One you use to get up, two to get dressed, another two to eat breakfast. Forget about driving anywhere, that takes too many spoons and you need enough to make lunch & dinner for your family. You may even borrow from tomorrow's spoons to pay for activities today. Some people come into your life as blessings and other people come in as lessons.
    Love & Light

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  89. I too am pretty convinced that Lisa R. Likes the camera on her a bit too desperately . . She repeats things that were told in confidence. She is so Loud and very tacky. She needs to rest her lips.
    I feel what Ellie and Yolanda feel everyday since 1991. Silicone destroyed much of my life. There were no settlements except to the rich and famous so it would not become public. Bless you. Continue to find a doctor that can get you properly diagnosed. I believe you will lose everything if you don't .

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  90. We all have our shit and if they don't have it now, someday they will go thru what we do. Chronic degenerative diseases are cruel and suck. I have mine and I take care of my sweet husband 24/7. I went to the dentist finally after 8 years. Guess where I got a hug...the dental hygienist. What do we get from some family...attitude, judgements, why can't you attend? so much to say,but all of you know it too. I wish you all the best it can be for each of you. love Margaret

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  91. I am really sorry. I am so sorry that anyone ever gets what sweet Ellie has. No one deserves it. I don't know what else to say. I love her! I am so lucky to know her! And I am so lucky to have known her briefly before!

    She is a "peach"!!!!

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  92. So very sorry that you have suffered. Hoping that we hear from you soon. You have insight and truth in your writings as well as humor. Thank you for your gift of writing.

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  93. She is just taking Brandy's place. Everyone loves a trouble maker. I don't ! She said she gets where she is going with her lips. Indeed, they never stop moving. She is a terrible liar. Her husband has to be so embarrassed.
    I don't think Lisa nor Eileen speak the same language. Of course I am a nobody American that understood Lisa's apology,,right?
    Yolanda please understand the Silicone breast feedings give the children auto immune diseases. It is not your fault,,you were not told the truth about the implants. I have the pathology reports from Dow testing. They knew the risks.
    Many women cannot get pregnant now because of them. They have to use unnatural ways. Very sorry for them.
    Please keep them out of your children people!
    Please get checked for Lupus ladies.

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  94. Thank you for writing this. I was a fan of Lisa Rinna actually until she said the stupidest things about Yolanda and about sick people. I believe one of her comments was that sick people get away with whatever they want because they use their sickness as an excuse. And it enrages her! What?! OMG. See you next Tuesday is right! Lisa Rinna is the shallowest, ugliest person on television, and karma is going to get her back. How dare she. And BTW, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Yolanda (and Erica too), and I wish Yolanda all the best. :)

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  95. I also have and illness that has robbed me of living my life, being St my children's events and all that good stuff of life. I also don't look sick. Lisa R has infuriated me with her awful comments. She has a ugly soul!!! I pray for all people who are sick may somehow we all heal.God Bless.

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  96. I also have and illness that has robbed me of living my life, being St my children's events and all that good stuff of life. I also don't look sick. Lisa R has infuriated me with her awful comments. She has a ugly soul!!! I pray for all people who are sick may somehow we all heal.God Bless.

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  97. Great and thanks for share your hints.

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