The Italian Itch

The first and only time I went to Italy was with my high school. No, not my home school high school, although if that was offered as a field trip, I'm sure my mom would force me to go. With all the other home schooled nerds. When I went to the Dominican Academy in Manhattan, they offered a 2 week trip to Italy as an extra curricular. I had only been at that school for a week, and my mom already got wind and signed me up. I was dreading the trip because I was worried that I wouldn't have friends by the time April came around. For others, six months is plenty of time to create friendships, but for me, it was going to take some black ops training to get me to say 'hi' to a stranger. 

So the trip came and went. I went to Venice, Florence, Rome and Sienna. It was beautiful, but it didn't feel like Italy. I'm exactly the type to complain about a European vacation, Because I'm awful. But, this trip just felt like any other field trip to a museum. We had a "coach bus," which meant rolling into quaint little Italian towns with giant signs on our foreheads that read "STEAL FROM ME I'M STUPID." When I pictured this trip, I imagined I would be traveling only via Riva Aquarama and I would have a silk kerchief tied around my neck the entire time. My vision was a mixture of an Olsen twin movie and La Dolce Vita, but I ended up as the third child of the Griswold family. 

We never stayed in hotels in Italy, never even adorable home stays. Instead, we were in hostels 45 minutes deep in the 'burbs, ate pre-packaged sandwiches made by the supervising nuns (Dominican Academy was a Catholic school) and were rushed from monument to monument holding hands with a sweaty 'sister'. 

It was a group of 30 or so girls together all day and all night. There was a fight about a hair brush that lasted 6 days. The nuns shielded our eyes from the statue of David's junk and were reluctant to let us speak to any male waiters. But, we were allowed as much gelato as we wanted, and for that I am thankful.

The first night in Rome, we were treated to an actual restaurant that had actual Italian food. The 30 of us girls all gaggled outside looking at the menu and picked out what we wanted.

"I'm going to get the gnochi!"

"Oh that veal sounds amazing."

"They have vodka penne!"

"Does anyone want to split the tiramisu for dessert?"

We were ushered into the restaurant and seated at a long rectangular table. The view was incredible and overlooked a side of the lit up Colosseum. Every time a Vespa sped by the restaurant's glass front, all of us would turn to see if the driver was a cute Italian boy, it always was. We were all so distracted by the scene outside the restaurant that no seemed to notice that we didn't get menus. Instead, 10 minutes into the dinner, a plate of lasagna was placed in front of each of us. It was fucking prix fixe. From this moment on, I learned to never go on a school trip out of state, cause you probably won't get what you ordered. 

I would like to have a do over of this trip. I promise I'll be more gracious this time around. I would like to see Venice before it sinks, and I would like to see it without a nun telling me my skirt is too short. Italian's don't care if they can see your thigh and God probably doesn't either. 

Since I will not be in Italy this upcoming summer, I might as well bring it home. To me, the warm weather makes me want to dress like Sofia Loren, eat pounds of pasta, change my last name to Bellucci and read a book outside my villa. 

I was looking at Air BNB's in Italy, planning my fake vacation, when I came across the single greatest find that I ever have discovered. Are you ready? Are you ready to buy a home in Italy for $1?????

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Ok, so here's the deal. The Italian government had to create a way to lure people into towns that were slowly falling apart, with more and more homes becoming abandoned. Their solution was to sell them for nothing, well not nothing, $1. The catch is that you have to agree to remodel the place within 3 years of purchase. That doesn't really sound like a catch to me, that sounds like a dream. 

There are two towns that offer this deal right now, Zungoli and Mussomeli. Zungoli is inland near Naples while Mussomei is inland on the island of Sicily. It's going to be hard to choose just one, but I think I would go for Zungoli, it's near the Amalfi Coast and the place I want to be laid to rest, Pompeii. Please scatter my ashes among the ruins of Pompeii and then you can have a party at my house in Zungoli. The catering will be done by both El Pollo Loco and my grandma.

CLICK HERE for more information if you're actually going to do this. Please actually do this and then please invite me over. 

These homes are in rough shape, but that's what I like about them. The stone is crumbling to perfection and the colors are so natural and warm. If we had stayed at any one of these places during my Italian trip, I probably wouldn't be complaining so much. 

Just imagine what you could do with these houses. It's basically the plot of Under The Tuscan Sun come to life. 

That was one of my mom's favorite movies actually, that and Le Divorce. I tried to watch Le Divorce the other day and I could not get through it. I think it's cause I just really want to be in Italy right now. But since I can't go to Italy for at least a few more months, I'm just going to pretend. I'm going to pretend by drinking red wine, cooking pasta, wearing red lipstick, making aperol spritz and re learning how to ride a bike. That's just how I picture every chic Italian woman basically. 

I wanted to share my recipe for the best vodka pasta you'll ever have. I guess I can't really call it my recipe because I stole it from the restaurant Jon and Vinny's in LA. Jon and Vinny's is a casual but cool Italian restaurant on Fairfax. It's tiny, long and narrow, so it always feels lively, with voices bouncing off the walls and a wine shop in the back. The only draw back is that it's one of those places you need to always have a reservation to. Ugh LA, come on already. So, since I can never tell what I want for dinner until 5 minutes before, I learned how to make their signature dish, vodka sauce fusilli pasta, at home. I can have it for breakfast now if I want. 

This is what you gotta do...

Chop up half a shallot, like 2 gloves of garlic and brown it in a pan with a 1/4 cup of olive oil. Then add in 1/2 cup of tomato paste and stir everything around for 5 minutes. Once it's all mixed together, add in 2 tablespoons of vodka, stir, then add in 1 cup of heavy cream. I cannot stress how important the heavy cream is. I thought I could use half and half, you cannot. It has to be heavy cream. But, I might be the only one who thought heavy cream and half and half were the same thing. Once this is all mixed in, add in salt to taste and then a teaspoon of red pepper flakes. Oh yeah, you were supposed to be cooking fusilli noodles at the same time. So then when the sauce is done, you can take 1/2 a cup of the pasta water and mix it in the sauce. Slowly stir the fusilli noodles into the sauce and then add a tablespoon of butter and some chopped basil. Then do a little Italian finger kiss and you're done! Serve with grated Parmesan on top for the best results. 

When I first mastered this recipe, I think I ate it for 5 meals in a row. And I'll probably make it tonight because just look at it.

As for the sale... this next sale will be the last sale until July. The site is going to be getting a little face lift and I'm going on vacation. So, no new items will be added until them. Technically the sale starts Monday the 19th, but I wanted to give everyone here the first chance to shop, because you guys are my favorite. So, from now until Sunday, the shop will be open just for you! 

CLICK HERE

CLICK HERE

CLICK HERE

But, like always, here's a little background on some of my favorite pieces this time around.

These two trays will help you if you too were hoping to spend the summer in Florence. I have one large wood serving tray and then one small rectangular tray. I think the small one would look lovely in a bathroom or on a vanity for your best makeup and perfumes. Lately, I've been really into my "getting ready zone." I'm a bit of snob about it though, I keep my drug store products under the sink and I only bought that Chanel lotion because it would look great displayed on my vanity. There's a great series on the website Into The Gloss called Top Shelf, where they take a deep dive into people's medicine cabinets. Not just any old people though, celebrities and makeup artists usually, no one who uses Head & Shoulders. You can read through them HERE but be careful because it may make you redo your entire morning and night routine. But, if you do, these trays would make an awfully good place to put everything.

Ok so, these two oil paintings might just be my favorite paintings with one exception that's hanging in my home. During my mom's first trip to the Marche Aux Puces, she saw a painting in a shop and had to have it. She inquired and was met with a ridiculous price, so she left devastated. Every trip though, she kept going back to this painting, hoping the price would be lowered but it never was. 4 years later, she had saved up enough (or used someone else's credit card) and bought that painting. I have it hanging in the hallway outside my bedroom now. It's absolutely stunning, dark colors and just a hint of light on the artists face, but I'm 100% percent sure it is haunted. There's a strange marking on the back that looks quite demonic, and the guy in the painting has eyes that follow you. But, even if that painting is the death of me, I will always love it. Now these two paintings haven't caused me to think they're haunted...yet. One is a large floral painting with lots of texture that stands up off the board. The other is a medium sized painting of a sugar pot on a table, a really beautiful and delicate still life. And this one is framed! It's a lovely dark wood frame with a gold gilt border.

Last sale, I had a large tortoise shell for sale and it was sold before the sale even begun. That's because a true antique tortoise shell is awfully hard to come by, almost impossible even. But, because I have someone looking out for me (Anna Nicole Smith) I have two more for sale. One is so special, it's blonde, like me (and Anna Nicole Smith). I'm not sure if the proper term is Albino or blonde, but I like blonde. This one isn't as large as the other one, but it's in perfect condition and has a friend. I have one more tortoise shell that would look perfect stacked next to the blonde friend, like Tina Fey and Amy Poheler. That's what I named these two. 

Ok, before you get to shopping, I have one more special find... A 19th century wood statue of Saint Anthony. He is painted green with some detail still left on his face. His hand is missing and the wood has worn over time, which is why I love it so much. He would fit perfectly into a bookshelf. Saint Anthony was known for his love and devotion to the poor and sick, making him quickly canonized in the church. He also was the patron saint of lost things, which is perfect, because this statue was clearly lost over time only to be found hopefully by you!

Now, shop on! Please email me at havesomedecorum@gmail.com if you have any questions at all! The shop will remain open until May 31st, so tick tock!