Okay, a day has passed and I’ve calm down a little bit. I
had to watch 14 episodes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta to do it but it
worked. I have now forgotten all about fat fuck. Thank you to everyone for all
of your comments and support. You guys are awesome. I feel like we defeated the
high school bully picking on the autistic kid. Thanks guys.
Let’s get back to the top 15 dishes you need to master
before the age of 30… Oh, by the way, the website that originated this idea about
the dishes to master was Domaine Home.
Today, we need to talk about lasagna…
Everyone has an opinion about lasagna. They always think
their lasagna is best. I like all types of lasagna… Mostly mine. Just kidding.
I like vegetarian lasagna, extra cheesy lasagna, lasagna with a Bolognese
sauce, lasagna with a Béchamel sauce…. Hell, I even like a Mexican lasagna.
Let’s start with some secrets from the experts:
It turns out that no
bake lasagna noodles are not bad at all! Who knew?
Use a pork sausage (a
mixture of sweet and spicy) instead of ground beef.
Use fresh grated
buffalo mozzarella. Mix in Comté cheese as well.
Use mushroom powder.
Add a carrot for
sweetness.
Salt each layer.
Make sure your ricotta
is dry… Use cheesecloth.
Speaking of ricotta…
Add Parmesan, egg and basil to your ricotta in a food processor for extra
flavor.
After you master the basics, you can get creative and add
your own touch to your lasagna. Here are a few recipes to get you started…
Vikalinka Rustic Three Cheese Lasagna. Recipe HERE.
Voilà. Lasagna mastered.
*Something you don’t know about me? Yep, still hiding out at
my husband’s family’s house. I have left my room exactly once. But, for some
reason my room is where all the people are.… Gracie, David, David’s brother,
David’s mother, my caregiver, my niece
Thea and my nephew Sam. I just thought I would also point out that 4 of the 9
people staying at this house over the holidays are on antibiotics. Just what I
need with my weakened immune system. So, here I am in the guest room, and all I
can think of is, “How can I redecorate this room?” This room looks exactly the
way it did 47 years ago when David’s family moved in. There are two types of
families. Families who decorate and families who don’t. David’s family belongs
to the latter. My grievances with this house are well documented… Just ask
Yolanda and Diandra. The first time I came to this house I called them crying
and they nearly sent out a search and rescue team to get me. It’s not that
David’s parent’s house isn’t nice… Because it is. It’s just that in 45 years no
one saw the importance of a little decorating. Unlike my family, I guess
David’s family saw more importance in raising well-balanced children in a
non-dysfunctional family than decorating the entire house every other week.
Unlike David’s family, my family saw more importance in monogramming bedding
than keeping a family intact. My goal is to do both… Decorate and have a family
with David and Gracie without divorce, suicide, infidelity, moral issues and a
web of lies. So far so good. By the way, these are not issues that David’s
family has ever had to worry about. David’s family is solid. My family is not. However,
David’s family cannot decorate worth shit. My family can decorate worth shit. It
never occurred to David’s family to decorate. Polar opposite families.
Do you remember when I told you that David is super loud? I
used to think it was because he had a hearing problem but now I have discovered
that it is a “charming” family trait. David’s family does not “speak” to one
another. They “yell” at each other. Even when they’re saying something nice,
it’s a “yell.” It is enough to drive someone mad. I keep thinking something
catastrophic is happening in the other room but, nope, they are just “yell
talking.” David popped his head in our guest room at his parent's house
yesterday and asked if he could do anything for me. My answer was, “Yes, you
can stop yelling, re-wallpaper the bedroom, re-tile the bathroom, install a
copper bathtub from Waterworks and bring me a Darjeeling tea.” He didn’t think
that was so funny. He knew what he was getting into when he married me so I
don’t have much sympathy. Stay tuned…
