I don’t know if you guys remember but you know how I hate
little crappy brocante, tchotchke, bric-a-brac, knickknack give a dog a bone
type of flea markets? Well, I do. I don’t like to search for “junk.” Let me
tell you, there is a difference between junk and accessories. My favorite part
of decorating a house is the end when you start accessorizing. Accessorizing
takes time and energy and just the right eye. My mother, the master of vignettes,
and I find this the most enjoyable part of decorating a home.
So, armed with some birthday money, off to the fleamarket I
went. Living in Paris with limited square footage, limited surface space and a
limited budget for that matter, I need to be very choosy. My caregivers cost a
fortune and I cannot just buy every little thing my heart desires which fucking
sucks. However, I decided today that I would treat it as a challenge. I had
€200 to spend and I wasn’t leaving the fleamarket until every last euro was
gone. Mission accomplished.
Now, let me state for the record, I know a thing or two
about antiques and negotiating/bargaining. I’ve been doing this my entire life.
When I was about five years old, my grandmother and her friends had a little
fun bored housewives antique store called The Flea. They called themselves the fleas. I have been “in training”
since then. There is definitely an art to flea marketing. Here are some rules…
Make a commitment, wake up early and get to the fleamarket
at the crack of dawn.
Have cash ready. Bigger, more professional flea markets will
accept checks and credit cards but usually cash is king. Use small bills
because dealers always pretend like they don’t have change.
Be polite, but don’t act too interested.
Nonchalantly, look the piece over. Open it up, turn it over,
inspect for damages, look for stamps to show provenance… Demurely make it look
like you know what you’re doing.
When you ask the dealer the price of an item, counter offer
with exactly half of that and negotiate from there. Be willing to walk away (but
I always come back later).
Look poor. Don’t go to a fleamarket with your Hermès
bracelet or your big fat diamond wedding ring. I don’t even like to go to a
fleamarket with my pretty boy husband because he just looks rich. It’s so
annoying and just his presence costs me money. Overall, it’s better if it’s
just me in my wheelchair with my caregiver. We probably save 20%. Oh my God,
how awful of me… But it’s true. Today I wore my breathing machine strapped to a
face so I looked extra pathetic. Don’t judge, I also get stared at 90% of the
time like I am the elephant man, so a little discount is fair game.
Take photos of everything. You can use them later for
inspiration and at the end of your fleamarket day you can look back through
your camera roll and see if there’s anything you just can’t live without and
then you can go back and bargain your little heart out. The end of the day is
when you get your best deals.
Dress in layers, take a big insulated thermos of hot chai
with vanilla soy milk, take a hat and sunglasses and go tinkle before you leave
because the last thing you want is to be searching for a clean restroom at a
goddamn fleamarket and by the way that doesn’t exist. Always take a rolling
cart… The kind the little old French ladies use for groceries… Who cares if you
look like a dork. You need to be hands-free and this way you can buy more
stuff. I always take a little bubble wrap and/or newspaper for the delicate
items. Dealers usually never have tissue or bags so it’s best if you prepare
yourself because you don’t want your new treasure to break. Don’t stop for food…
You don’t have time for this. Grab a croissant and eat as you walk, fatso.
Have a general idea of what you are looking for. Today I
knew I wanted little seaside landscape paintings because I’m trying to curate a
whole collection for a specific wall in my apartment. Be ready to think outside
of the box because nothing’s going to be perfect. Keep your eyes open because
you never know what will inspire you. Try to draw on everything you’ve ever
been inspired by… Every house that you’ve loved, every shelter magazine editorial
that gave you goosebumps, every Pinterest board that you have pinned, every
museum and art collection that you have loved etc. Have a color scheme in mind
but also be willing to accept a pop of color.
Don’t be a slave to size. Sometimes
something completely over scale is awesome. Sometimes something small but truly
unique is awesome as well. Just don’t have too much small crap or too much big
crap. You need to have a mixture.
Buy what you love and you will always find a home for it.
Ignore your detractors. For example, my husband cannot and will not ever see
the value of a little chinoiserie black lacquered box and I couldn’t care less.
March on with confidence.
Don’t not buy
something just because it has a little flaw. Flaws make pieces unique.
I always like to keep mental file box when I’m going through
a fleamarket. One dealer may have 5 dessert plates in that blue and white
pattern that you love and another dealer may have three of the same. Take
photos and remember what’s what and where it is so you can go back later to put
your collection together. For some reason, I can’t remember my friend’s
birthday (sorry, Susie) but my God, I sure can remember which booth I saw that provençal
polychrome vase. It’s both a blessing and a curse. :-)
Don’t forget to enjoy the local flavor. I love fleamarket
people. I truly do. I love the crabby gentleman dealers with four-day scruff, a
handrolled cigarette hanging out of their mouths while they speak with a slight
whiff of the previous evening’s red wine bing. I love the older French women
dealers who reluctantly sell their hand dyed linens as if they’re giving up
their two-day-old baby girl. I love the coffee ladies who walk up and down the
aisles, singing and selling their home made coffee for one euro. I love the
straight out of central casting Frenchman playing the piano or accordion to the
tune of La Vie en Rose. I also love
the “ladies who lunch” who slum it in the 14th arrondissement
fleamarket and return to their hoity-toity 16th arrondissement
apartment with all of their hard bargained treasures. Most of all, I love the
dogs of the fleamarkets especially my favorite, Teckel à poil dur.
So, with all of that being said let’s take a look at the spoils
of my day.
My first purchase was this little gold hand. The dealer said
it was used as a monogramming stamp with wax. Originally €25. Sold to me for
€15. I thought it would be nice on top of a little stack of books or on my
little sidetable next to my picture frames.
Next up, a typical blue-and-white double happiness Chinese
ginger vase/jar. I have literally had hundreds of these in my life. Remember
when I told you my secret source for these in Los Angeles? I know their value,
I know where they’re from and I know that there are literally billions of them
in the world. These are not rare but apparently in freaking Paris they are. I
have never seen one in France for under €150. I have never paid over $50 for
one in ‘merica and for some reason I refuse to pay more than €50 in France… So,
I don’t have one. This dealer today wanted €200 for it. I rudely offered €40.
She proceeded to tell me that they were “antique and rare” and I proceeded to want
to punch her in the face for lying… To a girl in a wheelchair for God sake! :-)
I had to walk away from this booth because it was going to get ugly. (I still
want the jar though but, on principle, I will wait until I find one for €50.)
Next up I found a little stand that was selling crappy
little watercolors. If you know what you’re doing and you have a good eye,
these watercolors can be great little finds. I never care if these little
painting are framed or unframed. Original price €100 each. Sold to me for €60
for two. Congratulations accepted. I’m going to start a collection of these for
a certain wall in my apartment but until I have the whole grouping, I decided
to put one of the paintings behind all of my perfume bottles and the other one
on my bedside table behind my shrine to Gracie.
I absolutely loved this heavy duty silver tray. I thought it
would be perfect for my tea parties with my blue-and-white Monet tea set.
However, it was €150 so I had to walk away. Remember, my whole budget today was
only €200 but I will probably forever think about this tray and wish I had
bought it for the rest of my life.
Next up I saw this fantastic gilded sunburst. The dealer
actually looked like she lived inside of her van so I thought I was going to
get a good price for it but low and behold she said it was €350. WTF! I offered
her €50. She was not amused.
At the last booth on the first aisle, I spied something that
I thought would be perfect on my living room fireplace mantel. Something about
it reminded me of Picasso and his bull paintings and my summers in Mallorca,
Spain with my friend, Diandra. I knew I had to have it. It was unusual, unique
and a good size. The dealer wanted €150. Ugh. I had to walk away but I knew I
would be back at the end if I had any money left. Guess what? It’s mine. I
waited until I had seen every other booth and then I decided that yes, I still
wanted that Picasso bull. Luckily, it was still there and I knew I needed to do
some hard bargaining. As usual, I rudely offered €50 yet was denied. I put on
my puppy face and the dealer came down to €120. Not good enough yet… I gave him
a look of, “but I’m just a poor girl in a wheelchair.” He came down to €100. I
reminded him that ALS was terminal and he came down to €80. Sold! I really
think this ALS is going to start to work for me. :-)
We decided to take a hard left and go to the junkier section
of the fleamarket. This is the section where all of the dealers look like they
stole everything out of their aunt’s apartment. It’s rare that you find
anything good in this section but I spied with my little eye something super
fantastic… This soldier’s helmet with red plume. I just loved it. My husband
just rolled his eyes. I thought it would be perfect on my other fireplace
mantel in the dining room. The dealer wanted €50. I knew that was a good price
but being the bitch that I am, I offered €25. My luck had run out at this point
and his lowest offer was €40. I accepted and I am now the proud owner of a
worthless helmet according to my husband. I think it looks great and he can
suck it.
My last purchase was a feel-good purchase. My grandmother
always had an identical black lacquered chinoiserie box on her coffee table for
as long as I can remember. Here’s the best part… It was only €20! I didn’t even
haggle because that would just be rude. It’s mine now and I could not be
happier. See, it just goes to show you that a little can go a long way. Not
everything has to be expensive to be magnificent!
There are a few pieces that I was sad that I had to leave
behind… A gilded mirror that was €450. A chic little set of black handle oyster
knives. An oversized mortar (missing the pestle) that I thought would look
great with a little plant but it was €80. The chic 1930s gold flower sconces
that were too expensive and another beautiful black lacquered chinoiserie box
that was €120 and a few other things. Boo-hoo. Take a look…
What a wonderful day! These flea markets are one of the
reasons why I love living in France. Decorating a home is all about the
curating and juxtaposition. Even if you are on a strict budget, it is not impossible
to have a chic little apartment. Keep your eyes open, your mind out of the box,
and create a “whole look” that has a lot of style without breaking the bank. It’s
okay to splurge on the important pieces like a mirror, a sofa, a rug, a
painting, or a table etc. but it is also so easy to give your apartment real
character with all of the accessories that you had to work hard for through a
little leg work, a lot of bargaining and some elbow grease. Deal with it, it’s
called life.
*Something you don’t know about me? I did this today also…
My boring balcony before...
My boring balcony in process...
Et voilà!
