Surviving Thanksgiving Cookbook!!!!!!!!

Today is October 1^st and you know what that means… Only 57 days until Thanksgiving!

It’s time to start getting ready, ladies and Stephen! The OCD, control freak, and spaz in me is already preparing. The guests are invited and will remain the same depending on their behavior, the tablecloth has been thought out, the platters are organized and because I live in Paris, the land of no Thanksgiving, I will have to make my pilgrimage over to The Thanksgiving Store in the 4^th arrondissement of Paris over the weekend to order/purchase everything I need. And yes I realize it’s only October 1 but you can never be too prepared.

Thanksgiving Shop

20 Rue Saint Paul 75004 Paris

 

And that, my friends, is why I am reintroducing my Thanksgiving cookbook, Surviving Thanksgiving, today! I want all of you to have plenty of time to order it, receive it, read it and prepare before the big day.

If you weren’t around last year for the inaugural Surviving Thanksgiving blog posting, CLICK HERE.

Surviving Thanksgiving is a humorous look at Thanksgiving, a guide and most importantly, a cookbook. All of the recipes are generational O’Connell family secrets.

Here is a little excerpt from the book:

Ahhh, Thanksgiving dinner. The holiday where emotions run high. My family has at least two fights on Thanksgiving …pre-dinner. It could be about ironing the napkins, it can be about why I invited every Tom Dick and Harry in the neighborhood, it could be about my sister hogging her new baby, it could be about my brother eating all of the appetizers before the guests arrive, it could be about my former sister-in-law acting like a guest and not lifting a finger but usually the fight is always about my siblings and me “not helping in the kitchen enough.” The funny part is that if we attempt to help in the kitchen, my mother always tells us that we are doing it wrong and pushes us aside. We are either chopping the onions incorrectly, we are stirring the gravy too fast or not fast enough, we are not basting the turkey with love, we are being too dangerous with the Cuisinart blade, we are not watching the pies in the oven closely enough, etc. We decided that the best thing to do is just to leave my idiot savant mother in the kitchen to work her magic by herself. And she has, for 44 years. We have never helped her. To this day I have never made a Thanksgiving dinner on my own because she has never taught me. This is the first time she has ever even written the recipes down.

My mother was born cooking. She had no choice because it’s what my family does. My mother’s home when she was growing up was a big Carthage stone house that was always filled with tons of family. My grandmother, her housekeeper, Parthenia, my mother and her two sisters, Judy and Becky, ruled that house with an iron spatula. Everything revolved around food and the holidays. Sunday dinners complete with formal dinnerware and chafing dishes on the buffet were de rigueur. Even if we had my grandmother’s famous green pepper steak Chinese dinner, it was going to be on porcelain with linen napkins and crystal glasses. All of the children, including all of the cousins never really helped in the kitchen. We were only allowed to watch. Our job was to help set the table. I’ve been setting the table since I could walk. The good news is that I don’t ever remember anyone asking us to do the dishes.

I don’t want you to think that this Thanksgiving dinner recipe cookbook was put together lightly. This is an accumulation of years of testing, experimenting, and fine-tuning. My mother has been the teacher of private cooking classes, the chairman of the Los Angeles Junior League cookbook committee, has had 2 successful gourmet cookware/gourmet food shops, and has thrown more cocktail parties, dinner parties, birthday parties, weddings and holiday parties than Martha Stewart could even dream of. She is the dyslexic Martha Stewart… Which brings me to another subject.

As much as we love my mother, she is definitely…how can I say this nicely? Well, I’m just going to say it… She is cuckoo. I know this may sound mean but my mother has self-diagnosed dyslexia and the things that come out of her mouth are downright hysterical. She has no filter, spells everything incorrectly and sometimes backwards, never gives a clear explanation, and gets frustrated if you don’t know how to brown pork chops because, as she says, “It’s obvious.” However, she is pretty and can cook the pants off of anyone. So, as a warning, I have left all of her recipes nearly exactly as she has written them. I did have to edit a few things otherwise you would be offended by her tone and most likely would not have been able to completely understand the recipe because the words are out of order due to her dyslexia.

But what you will get with this Thanksgiving cookbook is a set of recipes that you can use for a lifetime and that you can add your own touch to as well. The recipes are easy, approachable and the ingredients are readily available at the supermarket. And, as an added bonus, I’m going to give you my mother’s email address so you to email her with any questions you might have. She loves helping people out and always has little secret cooking ideas to share. But I warn you, her emails back to you will be cryptic and possibly rude, but not intentionally. She will treat you as she treats her children…with love, humor, and a lack of social skills.

I would say bon appétit but my fancy Parisian friend, Sally Perrin, told me that is tacky and if you say bon appétit it is as if you are saying, “chow time.” So, obviously, I will never say bon appétit again… Yes I will.

Bon appétit!

The book guides you through the perils of Thanksgiving from setting the table, flower arrangements, cooking timeline, supply list, the recipes and most importantly how to keep your cool on the big day.

This is the first year that I will be (with my handy dandy caregiver, Joel) cooking Thanksgiving dinner by myself. As you know last year we were lucky enough to enjoy a very special Thanksgiving at the Ralph Lauren restaurant, Ralph’s, in Paris. Thank you Rex and the Lauren family. If you missed that blog, you can read it HERE. This year I decided to have Thanksgiving at our apartment using all of my family’s recipes from the cookbook. I’m sure I will be calling my mother four thousand times to ask her for advice and guess what, you can too! I have included my mother’s Thanksgiving cookbook email in the cookbook for all of you to use if you have any questions. She is eagerly anticipating your emails because she loves to give cooking advice. Remember, my mother used to be a cooking teacher and this is definitely her forte, so ask away! If you want to have the most delicious, home-cooked, authentic Thanksgiving of your entire life, Surviving Thanksgiving is the cookbook for you! Also, a portion of the proceeds will go to ALS research so it’s a win-win!

To purchase the Surviving Thanksgiving cookbook CLICK HERE. The book is available in softback and as an Ebook. Surviving Thanksgiving is also continuously available on the homepage of my blog on the right sidebar.

Gobble gobble!

*Something you don’t know about me? I have curated the October antique sale all around entertaining for the fall holidays. There are lots of goodies that I think you will all love. The sale starts in a few days but I will give you all a heads up via blog postings but in the meantime follow me on Instagram HERE for updates on the sale and sneak peeks!

 

C’est fini! Thanksgiving Cookbook!

To order Surviving Thanksgiving as an e-book delivered to your iPad instantly click HERE.

To order Surviving Thanksgiving as a soft cover delivered to your door click HERE.

The Thanksgiving cookbook is finished! Jesus Christ, that was more of a project than I had anticipated. I have never written a book or edited a book or put a book together. I have read about 1 million cookbooks but I never realized just exactly how much work goes into it so kudos to all of you cookbook writers! Setback after setback, I finally finished this book. Oh, what setback, you ask? Let’s see, where should I start? First, I had to gather the recipes from my mother who is not the most computer savvy lady on earth. Then I had to edit the recipes because when my mother is explaining a recipe, she assumes that you know as much as she does in terms of cooking. “Why don’t you know what an egg wash is,” she would think. Secondly, my mother had to email me family photos. That involves scanning and that involves a whole other set of problems. Photos needed to be enlarged, cropped, and color corrected. Next up, after I had the recipes and the photos together I had to put the book together. Even though a few of you kind readers offered help, I declined and enlisted the help of my 19-year-old daughter. Not my brightest idea. I must have forgotten that she is a typical self- absorbed teenager with a boyfriend, a job, an internship, full-time school, her own apartment to take care of, and according to her, “a life.” By the third day of her half assed, critical, bare minimum, know it all assistance… I fired her. She was not phased.

Now what was I going to do? I asked my husband for help. No such luck because according to him he has “a job.” Okay, who’s next? My French-speaking African Muslim caregiver who has never made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich let alone operated a computer? I think not. My other caregiver, Nabin, who is from Nepal and has been helping me with the blog for the past year left for Spain for two months. In his absence, we have hired a new Filipino caregiver, Victor. Victor is nothing short of a saint. Together, he and I did the cookbook. As you know, I cannot move an inch of my body except my tête and I had to dictate, teach, and explain the entire process to Victor whose English is “limited.” One word: frustrating. Like I said, I have never put a book together and I had to learn the software by myself before I taught it to Victor. “Add a page, remove a page, two-page spread, text layout, photo layout, upload photos, photo bleed, text alignment, fonts, ornaments, importing and exporting, dragging text, text spacing…” Oh my God, it was endless. I only yelled at Victor 3 to 400 times. He took it like a champ and ignored my verbal abuse and patiently adhered to my obsessive instructions. So here we are, the book has been put together and edited and now we are finally ready to publish. Victor and I looked at each other and decided we each deserved a medal or at the very least a vodka tonic.

My apologies to everyone for disappearing for these past few days. I didn’t answer emails, I didn’t do a blog, I didn’t check my text messages, I didn’t Instagram, no Facebook, I ignored my husband, my friends and my daughter. I didn’t even have time to fire off a nasty email to this girl who I hate.  I didn’t even take my medicine (don’t worry, the medicines don’t work anyway) and I hardly let Victor eat. My husband turned into a giant needy baby and pouted if I wasn’t available to take a walk with him or have an apricot tart and Earl Grey tea with him. Why is it just when you start doing something for yourself, everyone wants your attention? But here’s the good news, the book is finished and I had the time of my life doing it. I felt creative, fulfilled and a smidgen like a real person again.

So, the book is ready. I have titled it, Surviving Thanksgiving, because that’s exactly what happens every year. We survive another year of organizing the dinner, setting the table, ironing the tablecloth, idle chitchat with distant family members, ignoring that weird uncle, mother screaming in the kitchen, my brother trying to prove that he can lift me over his head, tipsy guests, bratty children, last-minute preparations and your basic family dysfunction. But, we all must be idiots because year after year we do it again and again. You know why? Because it’s fun and it’s family and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Voilà! Surviving Thanksgiving! I have published it as a softback book to keep the cost low and I have also published it as an e-book if you want to read it on your iPad and get it instantly. Or you could do both. If you see any typos, anything out of order, fuzzy pictures… just ignore it because f*ck you, I have ALS. :-) By the way, a portion of the proceeds will go to ALS research because I’m cool like that.

Additionally, because nothing in life is ever easy including cooking, I have included my mother’s email address (askmymother10@gmail.com) so you can ask her any questions you might have. She might answer you, she might not. She loves helping people with cooking but only if it doesn’t cut into her “treadmill time” and if she doesn’t forget her email password.

I hope you like the book, gobble gobble and bon appétit!

Purchase Surviving Thanksgiving HERE for a soft cover version.

Purchase Surviving Thanksgiving HERE for the e-book version for your iPad. It's instant.

*Something you don’t know about me? While I am still working on my regular book, I have decided also to do a Christmas book with my mother. This book will be all about Christmas. Decorating, entertaining, cooking, gift wrapping, shopping etc. If you think that my mother’s Thanksgiving recipes are fabulous wait until you see her Christmas dinner. And you will be floored at how this lady decorates a Christmas tree. It’s basically going to be a bossy book about how not to have a tacky Christmas. Stay tuned.