One of my girlfriends came for a visit in Paris on Wednesday. Her name is Amber and I have known her since I was 18 years old. First of all, she’s so gorgeous it’s disgusting. Look…
Amber with her daughter, Flynn.
Amber, being Amber. I mean, c'mon!
See! But here’s the thing, she operates as an ugly girl. She gives exactly zero fucks about how pretty she is. Since we were 18 years old, she has always been loving, generous with her friendship, full of laughter, and is truly a girl’s girl. She one of the hardest working women I’ve ever known and has grown her company, Flynn Skye, into the “must-have” fashions amongst the “cool girls” because she’s cool. She’s cool because she is kind. Amber has my best intentions at heart, always has. When I first met Amber her parents just opened the “IT” restaurant of Malibu, Bambu. My mother had just opened a gourmet cookware store across the way from Bambu called Everyday Gourmet. Needless to say, Amber and I were expected to work in our parent’s place of business which we did. This allowed us to spend literally every waking moment with each other. We would arrive to our respective jobs at the same time, have coffee together, have lunch together and then meet up throughout the day and then after work we would have dinner together, usually with our parents. For years. Never once did I question our friendship which brings me to the topic of today’s blog.
On Thursday night, Amber and I were watching TV in my bed and she fell asleep… Holding my arm. I looked at her and thought to myself, “I am a very lucky girl.” These friends of mine are true, real and genuine. I had to remind myself of this because literally just days before I was completely stabbed in the back by another “friend.” I was so absolutely devastated that I could barely think for the entire week. I didn’t return emails, I didn’t pick up the phone and I just sat around with tears shooting out of my eyes. After a week of soul-searching, I realized that this particular “friend” wasn’t really ever a friend, and that’s okay. I just wish I would’ve recognized it earlier. I wish I would’ve seen the signs. I’m laughing because those signs were smack tab in front of my face, and I obviously chose to overlook it. Silly me.
The good news is that I did learn a few lessons this week:
1. Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it ain’t right.
2. Watch for red flags including when you’re “friends” pretend to offer advice under the guise of “helping.”
3. Be careful who you let in your home/life.
4. Protect the sanctity of your family, at all costs.
5. Remind yourself that true friends want the best for you.
6. Keep the friends who you know will take a bullet for you.
As my friend Hollye says, “Look for the silver lining.” As hard as it was, I did find a silver lining. The silver lining is that the whole incident just brought my real friends and I closer which I didn’t even think was possible. My friends rallied around me and protected me like barracudas. This so-called “friend” who tried to destroy my life will never again have the pleasure to have me or my other friends as friends. That’s the nature of the game. It’s a bit like an East LA gang… If you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.
You may be wondering, “How could anybody do that to Ellie when she is so sick.” I thought that myself and then I realized that this is when some people decide to make their move… When they see that someone is weak. But guess what? Just because I may not be able to move, doesn’t mean that I am weak. My mind is perfectly intact and if anything my senses are even more heightened. The moment that I realized what this wolf in sheep’s clothing was really up to, I reacted… First, politely and when that wasn’t working I had to roll out the big guns and it got ugly. Needless to say, it was a very, very stressful week.
Were my feelings hurt? Yes. Did I feel betrayed? Yes. Am I going to let it affect my life anymore? No!
Isn’t it funny that at age 45, I am still learning lessons? I am grateful that I recognized the lesson, learned from the lesson and ultimately, grew from the lesson.
I have my real friends to thank for that. Thanks girls, you know who you are. A special thank you to Amber for coming to Paris just when I needed you.
*On a lighter note, the sale went really well! I’m so glad you liked everything. I shop with love and I hope I can pass that love onto you. Everything is being packaged up and getting ready to ship this week. Also, if all goes well, I have some very, very exciting news for you that I will hopefully be able to share in the next blog. I don’t want to jinx it so I can’t say anything until it’s a done deal but say your prayers and keep your fingers crossed. And I just want to say to all of you, thanks for being my friend.