“I can’t wait to come to your house, crawl in your bed, read
US magazine, and not talk.”
That is who my friend, Jenny, is. We don’t need to talk. We
already know what each other is thinking. Jenny is the kind of girl that
everyone wishes they could be… Cool. Jenny is just cool. Her whole demeanor is
just cool. She’s not one of those embarrassing mothers. Jenny has two kids and
they actually like being with her. They’ll go to concerts together and they
usually take Gracie and somehow my invitation gets lost but I know the truth…
I’m not cool enough. But it’s okay, as long as Jenny likes me, all is good in
the world.
I met Jenny when I was 17 years old. I think she was 15.
Jenny’s brother Jamie was my first serious crush but shhh, don’t tell him. I
like to pride myself on the fact that I have excellent taste in men. It all
started with Jamie.… Gorgeous, surfer, writer, smart, witty, so funny it would
make you blush, and according to Surfing magazine Jamie is a “21st
century philosopher.” Whenever I would call the house to stalk talk to
Jamie, his sister Jenny would answer. These phone calls ignited a lifelong
friendship.
Jenny cries a lot and I like that about her. She is very
sentimental and wears her heart on her sleeve. If I play the song from Macy
Gray, I Had the Time of My Life, the floodgates will open for Jenny. You know
how you have friends and, of course, they do things to bug you sometimes. Big
things and even little things. But not Jenny, she has never bugged me even
once. I like everything she does and I like how she does everything. Honestly,
to me she is perfect.
It is not just Jenny and I doing our own stuff. We always
have our children, David, Jenny’s family and sometimes other friends. We are
always a group. Our favorite thing to do is order food and watch HBO series
because remember, this is the Jenny that does not cook. However, this girl can
order takeout better than anyone on the face of the earth. She doesn’t miss a
beat and never forgets the guacamole or extra vinaigrette. When we are in Los
Angeles we order from the same places that we have been going to since high
school. Chin Chin Chinese chicken salad with extra crunchies and peanut sauce
on the side. La Scala chopped salad extra dressing. Tito’s tacos and burritos
with extra salsa. When we are in New York our favorite dinner is Pastrami Queen
to go. When we were young in Malibu, we only ate falafels at Malibu Mutt or
tuna melts at John’s Garden. Jenny and I still are upset (and discuss it often)
at the fact that California Pizza Kitchen took the goat cheese pizza off the
menu.
Jenny is definitely from a family of intellectuals. She was
raised in an environment where humor, wit, observation, satire, conversation
and literature were as important as breathing. Jenny has passed this down to
her children as well.
My very most favorite thing about Jenny is her laugh. Her
laugh makes the world better. I am lucky because I get to hear it all the time
because we are always laughing. Lately we have been laughing because there was
this one time about three years ago when Jenny and I laughed harder than we
have ever laughed in our entire lives but the funny thing is that we cannot
remember what we were laughing at. Jenny and I see the humor in everything.
Sometimes we send each other text messages of pics of our bank accounts that
say “your account is at negative 10 cents.” That can make us laugh for two
hours.
Jenny and I have been having sleepovers since we were
teenagers. It’s never stopped. I still call her, as an adult and say, “Can I
sleep over?” I love sleeping at Jenny’s house because she always has really
good product. The best shampoos, best makeup, the best hairdryer and regular
coffee with Coffee-Mate creamer and great magazine subscriptions.
Jenny is the kind of girl who is always on your side… Even
if I fuck up. If I hate someone you can bet your bottom dollar that Jenny will
hate them too. But if I decide to like them again, so will she. Jenny will go
to bat for you without a blink of the eye. The only person she has ever not hated for me is David. For the past
eight years, I have complained about David to Jenny. She has never thrown him
under the bus and is always his biggest supporter… No matter how annoying he
is. She has never once said a disparaging word about David even when I complain
about him. For some reason she understands David and “gets” David. A few years
ago, Jenny and her kids were at our house celebrating Easter. We had decided to
make a big fat Easter brunch. We decided to send David to the market to pick up
some bacon. What we did not realize was that David had just taken a superstrong
muscle relaxer/painkiller for his knee and was rather… “Loopy.” David was gone
for over an hour at Whole Foods market. When he returned, he gave us the bag of
groceries. The bag of groceries consisted of two things. There were two white
butcher paper packages. We opened the first one. Inside the first package was
exactly one slice of bacon. Not two slices, not 12 slices. Just one lonely
slice of bacon. We opened the second butcher paper package. It was about 275
pounds of salami. Jenny and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing.
She just understands my crazy David.
Jenny has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. I value
and love her as much as I love my Gracie. We have an unbreakable bond that I
know will last until infinity. I secretly hope that the day that I die, Jenny
dies also, so that I will not ever have to spend a day without her. Our
children will just have to fend for themselves. :-)
Jenny is the type of girl who you can go to an Irish bar
with, the kind with sawdust and peanuts on the floor, have a few vodka tonics
and Jenny will get up on the stage, sing karaoke, not look like a fool and
totally kill it. One of the best nights of my life has been with Jenny and the
kids at a Korean karaoke bar on the lower East side of Manhattan singing
karaoke until 2 o’clock in the morning. Yes, with our underage children… Relax,
they loved it. Jenny is the kind of friend who will join you in a midnight
In-N-Out Burger run… With the children, on a school night. Relax, they loved
it.
The hardest thing with Jenny is knowing that my ALS will
take me from her. What is she going to do without me? I know that sounds crazy
and narcissistic but it is the truth. What is Jenny going to do without me?
Because, this Jenny, this Jenny loves me as much as a human being can love. I
know it, I feel it, I see it and I cherish it. In August 2011, I had been
diagnosed with ALS for only two months and in this time, I had spent six weeks
in France, moved back to California, spent a week with Yolanda, her family and
Gracie on a boat, yet I had not had a one-on-one with my Jenny. Finally, we got
our chance to be alone, just she and I. Since the day of my diagnosis, I held
back the tears. I did not want anyone to see me weak, vulnerable, terrified or
sad. When I finally got to my Jenny, we sat outside in her backyard and it all
came out. I have never cried as hard as I cried that night. Jenny cried just as
hard. We cried because I had ALS, we cried because I was going to be paralyzed,
we cried because Gracie was going to lose her mother, we cried because we were
going to lose each other, we cried because our lives were never going to be
carefree again, we cried for everything, we cried for all mankind. It wasn’t a
pretty cry either. It was a sloppy, mascara running, gagging, coughing, snotty,
can’t breathe, hysteria, never-ending cry that lasted until the sun came up.
Yes, we sat in the backyard and cried from dusk to dawn. No alcohol, no
cigarettes, no blankets… Just two girls holding onto each other for dear life.
So that is my Jenny. I am excited because in exactly 16
days, Jenny and I will be sitting next to each other in my bed in Paris,
reading gossip magazines, drinking wine and not talking to each other. I
couldn’t ask for anything better. Oh, and by the way, no, I will not share
Jenny.
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred
minus one day so I never have to live without you.” A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
