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Parisian Apartment. Part Huit. L'appartement: La Cheminée.

If your Parisian apartment doesn’t have a fireplace, you should move, stupid. Sorry, but I’m a little grumpy today. All of my caregivers are driving me crazy. First, I asked one caregiver to trim the ends of my beautiful pink peony flowers and add new water. Do you know what she did? She cut the tops off and just left these stems in the water. What? I asked the other caregiver to blow dry my hair and he said he couldn’t because he didn’t know “how to use a blow dryer.” The other caregiver dropped me off the toilet and then spilled an entire class of toothpaste water on my cute outfit right before I was going out the door. All of my caregivers are from Africa and Nepal , and they’ve never heard of a peanut butter jelly sandwich, a quesadilla, they put guacamole in the freezer and two of them pray in the toilet twice a day to Allah.  I love all of them, and respect their differences, but today I just wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for God’s sake. So, anyway, back to Parisian fireplaces…

The fireplace is the pièce de résistance of the apartment. It’s your focal point. It’s where your candelabras go. It’s where your orchids go. It’s where all your fabulous vignettes go. It’s where all your best Christmas decorations go. Oh my God! Get a fireplace!

The good news is that most Parisian apartments have fireplaces, sometimes two, sometimes three or more. Most of the fireplaces are silky marble and even better news is that most of these fireplaces have big beautiful gilt mirrors over them.

Oh, there is a hint of bad news. Most of these fireplaces…no longer work. And, if they do work, you’re not allowed to use them. If your fireplace works in Paris, you’re a billionaire.

So that’s it today on fireplaces and gilt mirrors. I am going to try to be in a better mood later today, unless one of my caregivers decides to part my hair in the middle again. Stay tuned for Parisian apartment. Part Neuf. L’appartement: Le Balcon.


  1. maybe your care-giver was channeling morticia addams in the addams family.

  2. ADORE PEANUT BUTTER and JAM sandwiches............add a sliced banana!
    It is amazing what people THINK your saying!I can relate as my MOTHER has a CAREGIVER and its just about the same!

  3. I am really trying to imagine the look on your face when you saw that the tops of the flowers had been cut off! ;)
    Here is that amazing Gilles & Boissier apartment again...actually I will take any of them. And what is up with that mirror in the sixth photo down with the note printed on it? I love that!
    PS. Now that the law has changed, even if your fireplace works and is up to code you can no longer use it. I have a (non-billionaire) friend who is majorly pissed that is the case as he used it every night in winter...not to mention the value of a lot of these apartments just went....weirrrrrr...down the tube.

  4. Are you allowed to put a huge bunch of candles in the fireplace and "pretend" they are logs?
    Michelle from

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