Bad: Parisian cafés apparently have a hard time with the
concept of ice. If you order a drink, you will get no ice. If you “rudely” ask
for ice, you are going to get two miniscule cubes that melt within seconds.
Hate this.
Good: Parisian gardens are not for drug dealers. Parisian gardens
are for mothers with their children, elderly people, chic hobos, dogs, workers
on a break from their jobs, lovers, rich people relaxing and families. I never
feel like I have to “watch my back” in Parisian gardens. And everyone throws
away their trash. Love this.Bad: I don’t like when Paris tries to Americanize itself. I don’t like seeing Starbucks, food trucks, juice bars or Chipotle in Paris. I do, however, go to every one of those examples on a weekly basis. Hate this.
Good: Museums are crowded. Why is this good? It’s good
because it proves that culture, art and history are still respected and
appreciated in Paris. I should also point out that crowds do not bother me at
museums, because I get in first and free. First and free! Thank you ALS. Love
this.
Bad: There is no Target, J.Crew, Whole Foods, Home Depot or
Staples in Paris. Sometimes you just want to go to one shop for everything.
There is an IKEA by the airport, but who goes to IKEA? (I do.) I want to choose to go to a boutique, not be forced to. Hate this.
Good: Gas station food. Swear to God, my husband actually
looks forward to his “favorite carrot salad” at the gas station. French gas
stations have toubouli salad, ham and cheese baguettes, café au lait, fresh
croissants, gâteau au chocolat and fruit. Love this.
Bad: Gas station food. One time my husband was running into
a French gas station and he asked me what I wanted. My response was, “A cherry
Slurpie, nachos and a sweaty hot dog.” The look he gave me was priceless.
Unfortunately, you’re not going to get any of that deliciousness in French gas
stations. They don’t even have Doritos! How am I supposed to enjoy my road trip
to Normandy without my Cool Ranch Doritos? Hate this.
Good: Parisian men dress well. Even Parisian teenagers. No
one wears jeans so low that you can see their privates. No flip-flops. No
baseball hats. No golf shirts. No printed tees. No tank tops. No gold chains.
No board shorts. Parisian men seem to make an effort here… An effort all on
their own. Fitted trousers, baby blue button-down shirts, scarves, respectable
shoes, colorful blazers, chic shades, cool hair, no socks or colorful socks,
suits and ties. Love this.
Bad: Everything is closed on Sundays. What the f*ck! Hate
this.Good: Everything is closed on Sundays. Parisians definitely enjoy their Sundays. Take Luxemburg Garden for example… Children are sailing their little boats in the pond, families are having a picnic on the lawn, the tennis courts are used, teenagers are making out and smoking cigarettes politely, boule is played with wine in hand, children’s playgrounds are packed, ice cream cones are licked, books are read leisurely in a perfect green garden chair, strolls are taken hand-in-hand, and the pace of Paris slows. Parisians even enjoy their Sundays in the winter…They just add hot chocolate. Love this.
Bad: I hate when French people take an American word and try
to make it French. For example, le shopping, le week-end, le picnic, le
jogging, le smoking. Hate this.
Good: No one tries to rush you out of a café. You can sit at
a Parisian café nursing a cappuccino for four hours smoking 900 cigarettes if you want to. Love this. 
Yes, I read all of those books… in a month and a half (except three of them I read later). Clearly,
I had a lot of time on my hands…on account of my retirement (hint: ALS). They
are all utterly entertaining and give you an unabashedly true slice of life in
Paris. Guess what? You can purchase all of them in my Have Some Decorum Bookstore HERE.
Merci, Paris for a beautiful and interesting first year.
A toute!
