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Re-tard

*please do not read the blog if you are easily offended by the F bomb or the R bomb

Just when I thought everything was going smoothly and we were going to conclude our Paris Fashion Week with some Street Style Fashion, I get sidetracked by stupidity and now we have to talk about it.
So, apparently fashion designers, Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana of Dolce & Gabbana, gave an interview with Italian Panorama magazine and stated that… “We oppose gay adoption. The only family is a traditional one. No chemical offsprings and rented uterus. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Children should have a mother and a father with traditional values.”

 So then, rightfully so, Sir Elton John (@eltonjohn) fired back at the fashion duo stating, “How dare you refer to my children as synthetic. And shame on you for wagging your little judgmental figures at in vitro fertilization-a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfill their dream of having children.”
Sir Elton John concluded his statement by asking for a boycott of Dolce & Gabbana with #boycottDolceGabbana.

 I completely agreed with Sir Elton John and posted the boycott on my Instagram. Boy, did that cause a stir! You can go to my Instagram @ellieod and read the whole feed for yourself.
I concluded my post with #boycottdolcegabbana, #archaicminds and #retards. Boy, did that cause a stir as well! So now we have to talk about it…

Here are some of the comments I received on Instagram:





 
Yes, I used the word retard and I meant it. Apparently, some uneducated Instagram followers think the word “retard” only refers to people with mental/physical handicaps. Obviously, I did not use the word in this context.
Here is the Webster definition of the word retard:

 

THAT, you retards, @savvysane, @christine_m_leonard, @tcalandra, is how I used the word retard. And yes, Dolce & Gabbana are retards. I am now worried about you as it is obvious that you yourself use the word “retard” in a derogatory sense towards mentally/physically handicapped people. It never occurred to me to use the word that way yet it occurred to you immediately. I am sorry that I have a more extensive grasp of the use of the English language, understanding that words have more than one meaning. Yes, I called you an idiot, a hillbilly and a retard. I could have used bigger words but I thought you would understand these words best considering your brain is the size of pea. I mean, what do you expect from me when you ignorantly say:
 
 
You are, quite literally a retard. Own it.
Let me let you in on a little secret… ALS is a neurological disease. It basically means I have brain damage. My brain is so fucked up than I cannot even manage to neurologically send a transmission to my nerves to move my muscles. So if anyone is “retarded” it’s me. I would never use that word in a derogatory nature towards anyone with a physical or neurological retardation, i.e. me. I would only use the word toward someone who is an idiot like you. I would also use the word retard toward someone who abuses their children. I would also use the word retard toward someone who is a sexual predator. I would also use the word retard toward someone who uses the “N” word. I would also use the word retard towards anyone who forces their wife or daughter to wear a burqa. I would also use the word retard toward someone who is anti-semetic. I would also use the word retard towards a misogynist. I would also use the word retard towards a man who physically or mentally abuses his wife. I would also use the word retard towards those who don’t believe global warming is real. I would also use the word retard towards Boko Haram who kidnapped 200 young girls. I would also use the word retard towards ISIS who are busy throwing homosexuals off of rooftops. I would also use the word retard toward ISIS who are destroying ancient Iraqi antiquities. I would also use the word retard toward someone like you who is a homophobe and doesn’t believe that homosexual couples should adopt children, you fucking retard.

To the one woman who said on my Instagram “I need to find Jesus.”
 
 
 
I am so fucking close to Jesus it would make your head spin. When you wake up every day not knowing if today is your last day, you get pretty close to Jesus. When I beg Jesus every day to keep me alive so I can take care of my daughter, I get pretty close to Jesus. When I have 1 foot in this world and the other foot on the other side, I get pretty close to Jesus. When my lung collapses during surgery and I wake up gasping for breath, I get pretty close to Jesus. When my feeding tube ruptures in my stomach and I am rushed to emergency surgery, I get pretty close to Jesus. When I have ALS and I am left alone with my thoughts for five minutes, I get pretty close to Jesus. You, my friend, are in need of some Jesus yourself and not the Jesus you think of who discriminates towards homosexuals. You, my friend, need to find the real “Jesus” who is tolerant and loving. Actually, I don’t care if you don’t find Jesus as long as you find something or someone that will guide you past your homophobia.
I stopped responding to all of the comments last night for a couple of reasons. First of all, I had to watch the season premiere of Keeping up with the Kardashians and I didn’t have time for this shit. Secondly, I thought I would let the idiots dig themselves a deeper hole while I just sat back and watched.

Do you think I care if you unfollowed me on Instagram @marykimbell? Do you think I care if you unsubscribe from my blog? Be. My. Guest. It will be your loss because now you won’t know how to make fucking pesto.

To the idiot, @savvysane, that left a comment on my Instagram who said that being gay is a choice. Did you choose to be heterosexual? Did you choose to be an idiot?

Let me tell you another little secret. The morning that I was diagnosed with ALS, I didn’t cry. I held back all of my tears. No one saw me cry that morning ….Not my mother, nor my sister. I held back every drop of tears until I heard my doorbell ring that afternoon. I opened the door for my friend TH who rushed over to my apartment within hours of my being diagnosed with ALS. I opened the door and I collapsed into his arms and cried my eyes out. I was only strong until he got there and then I knew he would be strong for me. Here I am surviving ALS five years later and I have TH to thank. I would be dead without that man. Guess what to all you haters on my Instagram? That man, that man TH happens to be gay and if you think for one second that he doesn’t deserve to be a parent, there is something so wrong with you that you, yourself, should have your parenting license revoked. TH is the kindest, most evolved, humane, loving, forgiving, forthcoming gentleman I have ever known and he is the exact candidate to be a parent whether he is heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or even non-sexual. It doesn’t matter… All that matters is love, fucker.

I have another friend who happens to be gay who has given me better advice that my own father ever has. I have only known him for one short year and I honestly have never seen a better father, or mother for that matter. If I ever need advice, this is the person I would ask. He has raised two children and loves them with all of his heart just like any parent would. Being straight or gay had nothing to do with it.
So now, now that I have weeded out the weak, can we please get back to decorating, cooking, watching reality television, Pinterest, juicing, finding a cure for ALS and Lyme’s disease (love you Yogi), celebrating my birthday, teasing my husband, loving my friends, raising my daughter, having tea parties, and allowing whomever to have whatever sexual preference they choose without being denied the right to parent.

*Something you don’t know about me? I am not really in your world. I don’t know exactly where I am. When you are diagnosed with a terminal illness and told you only have a couple years to live… You go somewhere else. You become a different person. Nothing and everything matters. You see the world differently. You see all the beautiful colors and all of the love and you also see all of the hate. I don’t have time for stupidity. I don’t have time for people to say that homosexuals should not have children. That is basically saying that a child does not deserve love. I received a comment on my Instagram from @ursulauribe telling me that I should just let people have their own opinions and ignore them. What kind of person does that! What kind of person ignores injustice? Not I. What if I just ignored everything? You think the problems would go away? What if people just ignored segregation in the South back then? You think it would just go away? Remember when women were not allowed to vote? What if we all just ignored that? You probably wouldn’t be typing away on social media if we had just ignored women’s suffrage. Another woman, @tcalandra, wrote on my Instagram, “Didn’t we learn anything from Charlie Hebdo?” Yes, @tcalandra, I learned that opposing opinions and prejudice can turn violent and that is not okay. Wrong is wrong is wrong. Yes, every hillbilly or radical can have their own opinions and express them freely but don’t be surprised when intelligent people don’t agree. It’s not okay to be a racist. It’s not okay to be a homophobe. It’s not okay to be a terrorist. It’s not okay to be a rapist. It’s not okay to be a child abuser. Just because you can be any of these things doesn’t make it right. Reckless and dangerous opinions are a threat to humanity and society. Open your minds my stupid (certain) Instagram followers who were foolish enough to open this can of worms with me. Educate yourself and evolve. The end, retards.

57 comments:

  1. "I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Elie Wiesel

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  2. "I don’t have time for stupidity."

    Preach it, sister. Preach.

    Sending you love and light from San Diego :)

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  3. I used to enjoy teaching classes here and there about little areas I know a fair amount about. But then there was a change sparked by the Outrage Movement, in which everyone needed to be outraged all the time. Anyway, in one of these classes I was a ten minute speaker in a broader class about bread baking. My ten minute topic was a semolina sourdough bread starter. I mentioned the need to retard the growth of the yeast many times. Because that is what you fucking do when you make bread. Retarded rising=better flavor. Well apparently that correct terminology made half of the class uncomfortable! It seemed so outrageous I burst out laughing that people in a sourdough bread making class would be offended by the word retarded. would I call D&G retarded? No. not in writing on the internet. I quit social media in June of 2012. There was something in the news at that time that I found so heinous and indefensible that I couldn't stand to see people passionately defending. Some were clients and I knew the best thing was for me to leave before I started sounding off on them. So I quit and two weeks later the Chick fil gay thing blew up and I was sooooo happy I was missing all that bullshit (believe it or not I stood on Chick fil gay's side, I hope they close and go bankrupt, but they have a first amendment right to donate to whichever cause they like as a private business). Social media, for me, was fun in the earlier days but now it's just too exhausting with people looking to be offended at every turn. Maybe it's just because I had to learn to deal with people saying nasty things about me from an early age (the ruby slippers didn't help), but I found a great sense of peace in realizing that being offended is a choice. I can laugh at a good gay joke because I think the world is a better place with a sense of humor. I love your writing so much because it is like talking with a friend in real life, not worried about what the Internet police feel. A very, very rare quality.
    Another blog I like to read, despite having almost nothing other than heritage and love for dogs in common with the author, has had to reposition her entire site, remove her name and personal details because people hate her so much for thinking LL Bean should manufacture in the US and making jokes about third wives in Range Rovers. The Internet is out of control and I'm glad to still have things to read that were written with a genuine point of view. Not a whitewashed "as not to offend" article.

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    1. You had me at retarded sourdough growth. And now I am craving a Chick-fil-a and some sweet tea. XOXO X

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    2. This flap over the use of "retard" reminds me of the 1999 meltdown when the mayor of Washington D.C. Fired his top aide because he used the word "niggardly" in reference to a meager budget. The aide was rehired once the mayor was educated on the meaning of the word.

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    3. Jessica RodriguezMarch 16, 2015 at 9:18 AM

      Beautiful said.

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    4. Stephan Andrew,
      You have such a humorous, relatable way of saying things that gets your point across and still makes you feel kind and understanding to other people's opinions and feelings. I'm happy when I see you've made a comment. I wish you had a blog.
      Sheila

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    5. What are you really trying to say Sheila? Good news: Stephan Andrew does have a blog…http://stephenandrewblog.blogspot.com/
      please feel free to leave annoying comments for him as well. Sorry Stephan. She's all yours now. XOXO

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  4. Ellie, I happened to be on Instagram when the group of retards were posting, i was astonished not only because they would hold such archaic beliefs but that they would actually be indignant that their beliefs were not being accepted!
    one of the things that im most proud of is the fact that my boyfriend was instrumental in lifting the gay adoption ban in Florida. Since then I have placed many children with loving, caring and nurturing gay couples, the children are thriving and living in a more loving healthy environment that I ever did with my heterosexual parents!
    So you continue to stand up against injustice and we will all be right there next to you
    Fuck dolce and gabbana
    Lourdes

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  5. Life is short for everyone Ellie… glad you are hanging with the fun people! Notice that the cowards always hid behind obscure avatars so you don't know who they really are? I love the beautiful picture of yourself… you own what you believe and there is power in that! xoxox

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  6. I missed OUT on the INSTAGRAM feed.................or should I say THANK GOODNESS I missed OUT!Yesterday, I finished a book on JULIA CHILD, JAMES BEARD and M.F.K. FISHER.I watched a movie in the early afternoon by a husband of one of your FOLLOWERS.........I started to clean my closet only because the pile I had going fell over!!I had a LEMON DROP made with GIN........NOT SO GOOD.I had eggplant pasta for dinner with SALMON and now I do not know what I will serve my lunch GUEST today at NOON!!!!
    Lets get to PESTO.........PRONTO.Tis one week from your BIRTHDAY and I want you to BE HAPPY........REALLY HAPPY.MY first gift arrives this THURSDAY between 4 and 4:30.Then there is THAT BOX which carries ALL the BIRTHDAY CARDS that I received.That too could be arriving any day!You know the mail between the USA and FRANCE is darn GOOD!!!
    BIG HUGS.I am FULL of BIRTHDAY WISHES for YOU...................XOXOXO

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  7. Usually, I don't ruffle feathers, I avoid confrontations and I am trying to see the other person's point of view. Even making excuses for somebody's bad behaviour. Never again . Never. Thanks for helping find myself. And I loved the first comment.

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  8. I'm new to your blog, and ..um ...I fucking love it. Especially this post. You are amazing. That is all.

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  9. Thank God for your intelligence, wit and fighting spirit, Ellie. You educate me and make me a better person just by reading your blogs and I am in awe of your strength and passion for what truly matters in this life - which is love and acceptance. Jeanne Smith, West Jordan, Utah

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  10. It pains me to see how many ignorant people are out there, especially the ones that are anonymous in this virtual world, but they love to spread hatred and prejudice. To all those that still believe homosexuality is a choice, educate yourself. I know there are many of you that will read this post, and all the comments, perhaps you'll learn something. Who would seriously believe that people choose to be gay in the world where ignorant people treat them less than equal and at any given opportunity make their lives a living hell?!?!!
    And regarding Dolce&Gabbana, they're ignorant imbeciles as far as I'm concerned.
    Bravo Ellie on this post and on your instagram comments!
    Much love,
    Miri B
    Toronto, Canada

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  11. Jessica RodriguezMarch 16, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    As the sister of a married lesbian who is trying very hard to get pregnant, THANK YOU for standing up for her, her wife and their unborn "synthetic" children.

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  12. Dear Elli
    I love you for your courage, for speaking clear the truth. For not being neutral.
    You are so brave!!
    All the best to you!!

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  13. Just when I thought I couldn't love you more....D&G can go pound sand..fucking retards...sending big love xo

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  14. Did I read somewhere in this "re-tard"ed post that a pesto post is coming? Yum - can't wait to read your take and recipe(s). I recently attended a pesto competition in Genova. Holy impressionnte. How was the Kardashians?

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  15. Amen to your post! Those retards.....
    Love to you xoxo
    The Girl from Quebec city

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  16. Wow.....I love when people say what they mean, are strong enough to stand behind their opinion and do so in such an eloquent way....amazing
    Although I was shocked at the rebuttals....as Miss Jackson says... nasty
    Bridget...beaannfleming on IG

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  17. Please, please let someone find a cure for ALS. I can't imagine not reading what you have to say forever and ever. Each blog post is better than the last.

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  18. Right on!!!!!!! Now let's learn to make f****** pesto.

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  19. If I could, right this very second, I would fill a stadium full of people to chant, "Ell-ie, Ell-ie, Ell-ie" - can you hear it? And I would be right in the middle there with my little homemade cardboard sign with glitter glued on it.

    I think I am just going to stay with that image because otherwise my little redhead self will just about explode with outrage and utter disappointment. For you, for all of my gay friends and the injustices that they suffer through ignorance (there is a proposed law circulating giving certain states in the US the right not to serve gay couples in restaurants - yes, you read correctly) and to all that have defended your comments because this conversation should never, ever have had to take place in 2015.

    See? Time to focus on the image of Lil' Stephen's ruby slippers and get back to that Stadium chant.

    Love you, Ellie.

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  20. Woooooooooo F............Hoo!!!!!!!!!! You told them!!!!!!! I wish you were my BF girlfriend!

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  21. Holy shit, Ellie. Where the hell did you find these poor benighted souls? I have a fabulous pair of dolce and gabbana sunglasses that I will no longer wear until these two publicly apologize.

    Bonnie

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  22. I have raised my son all on my own since he was born 14 years ago. I love him so much and he loves me. Nobody is going to rain on our parade. "Andre...Ellie has a new recipe let's check it out."

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  23. You go girlfriend! They say 'the behaviour you walk past, is the behaviour you accept'. Discrimination is not acceptable (unless its
    against retards). It's about having integrity and some humanity.
    Jo xx

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  24. I am still hysterical over your comment to the lady encouraging her to enjoy her afternoon at Waffle House .

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  25. Yes. Well, I wont be buying Docile & Gof..yourself any time soon

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  26. Oh my effin' g, you are one splendid human being Ellie. Lots of love from Miami.

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  27. Love, love, love your spirit and courage. I am appalled at the ignorance in this world over homosexuality. Remaining neutral and not getting involved is what has our current government in paralysis.

    As the famous quote from Niemöller reminds us:
    "First they came for the , and I did not speak out—Because I was not a ...
    Then they came for the and I did not speak out—Because I was not a .,.
    Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me...

    Again, thanks for being so awesome!!!!

    Deborah in the Mid-Atlantic

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  28. Hi Ellie!! This expresses exactly what I consider to be true------but in a much fuller way. We do need to passionately stand up for truth, justice, human rights, and most of all LOVE! Thank you so much for this post!! Thank you for your comments re. Jesus. xoxo Mary

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  29. VERY well said! I love your blog, I love you. Keep on keeping on.

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  30. I love your second to last line, " educate yourself and evolve." Sadly, it seems so many people are afraid of change end evolving. Thanks for standing up on all of this (pun intended!)

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  31. I have two things to say: free speech! We're so luck to have it. We get to choose our words and have our opinions, and you, Ellie, get to influence so many to think straight. The U.S. is becoming way too p.c. with language. It drives me crazy. The second thing I have to say is, I made your blog! I am meghanssj who made one of the screen shots above. I hope my Mom isn't mad when she says that I said "crap" above. Free speech only goes so far. (ha ha).

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  32. I LOVE YOU,ELLIE!! I love your brain,courage.humor,tenacity,strength,and talent.Never having met you personally,I always describe you as "my friend who lives in Paris".YOU are a ROCKSTAR.

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  33. Well said, powerful and oh-so-true! What is especially tragic is the fact that a large portion of the United States is retarded (e.g., being gay is a choice, evolution never happened, only traditional marriage is lawful, etc). Give 'em hell, Ellie!

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  34. One would not want to negate the individual virtue of your choices. "She looked them in the eye and said that she thought she was doing her humble little bit to save the world." And by doing so, she hoped to save herself.

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  35. Bravo! I admire your honesty and courage in taking on all the haters out there on the internet and standing up for what you believe. Keep up the great work!

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  36. I notice there's a lot of showboating via the Comments section on other people's blogs by people who don't have blogs, shouldn't have blogs and couldn't have blogs. Retards, all of them.

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  37. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU , KNOCK UM DEAD GIRL...it's in the heart...

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  38. For those ignorant retards- we are living in 2015 remember? We have come a long way, some good and some bad has changed this world and us. Educate yourselves, love each other and open your hearts to that that you may not agree with without judgement.

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  39. Thank you, Ellie. I join you in standing against homophobia, and against any form of discrimination against people because they are LGBTorQ, in every way I can think of. You have not been silent; you have raised the roof, and for that I say "Bravissima!" Your admirer forever, Leslie

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  40. Hallelujah, Amen! I think I became closer to Jesus when reading this post. My mouth dropped to the floor when I read this about my most favorite dress makers. WTF. They should just keep sewing - yes freedom of speech blah blah blah. In reality some people just are better at some things. I guiltily shoved my coveted dresses to the back of my closet. You being the better person would burn them. I agree 110% with everything you said above. My uncles would make the best parents in providing a loving home for a child, all that is needed in my opinion. These poor children being raised by such retards. Hatred breeds hatred. WHAT are these traditional values they speak of?? Barf.

    Furthermore- these antiquated views flabbergasted me. What? Are we against change that much? Gosh- I would never wish a modern day illness on Mr. Gabanna. Would be not want his heart revived after an attack or any drug to prolong life? What's the big deal with a little Petri dish making a baby- it's still a pretty amazing miracle. In fact, it is the only way that I will one day be able to have a little baby with my MS. I am so excited to rent a uterus for so many reasons.

    Selfishly, speaking of MS - can we put that on your cure list? I think it's about time for pesto.

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  41. Not so sure about your food choices, Ellie. Chicken Pot Pie? really?, but I'm totally sure about your compassion. It is what separates the women from the girls; the men from the boys, and the humans from those bereft of a heart, mind, and sense of humor. Keep hitting them outta the park.

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    1. First I had to defend gay adoption, now I have to defend Chicken Pot Pie? What's next?

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    2. She NAILED it with the CHICKEN POT PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Did you BUY HER cookbooks and try the family recipe?
      I did and it's WONDERFUL...................then she GIFTED us with another version of a NEW YORKER's POT PIE................try it!You just might EAT your words!

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  42. Right On Ellie! And Write On! “Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.”
    - Martin Luther King Jr.

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  43. Ellie, Thank you for yelling at the people who need to be set back a peg. I am always so surprised at how many people out there are so ignorant. Have those people been hiding under a rock?
    Judy

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  44. OMG! LOVE this!!! I'm just glad that I waited until after my house guests left the house to read this! Mainly so I could yell, "OMG, I love this!" and "OMG, she really SAID that, ha ha!!" and similar things out loud!!! I love that you express yourself so honestly. It's so refreshing that it's entertaining. Not to mention that you are as funny as all get out!!! Don't you just love it when someone tells you that you need to "find Jesus"?? I mean, does this reek of self-righteousness and moralistic smugness and someone who is sanctimonious? I loved your own examples of "finding Jesus" although I'm extremely sorry you've had to experience them. In the meantime, is it your birthday yet? I meant to get a birthday card in the mail to you but I admit I procrastinated doing it until it was past the deadline to get one to your friend in CA. But maybe it's today? Or yesterday? Or soon? Whichever exact day it is, I wish you so much love and continued courage and creativity and peace and happiness. You continue to touch so many people with your thoughts, your opinions, your stories, your recipes, your style and fashion, your decor, your pictures. I love it all and look forward to reading everything you have to say. Thanks so much, Ellie. Happy Birthday to one incredible person in this world. You rock!!!

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  45. Finally. Someone understands the English language. Thank you xo

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