*warning, this is a long blog, make a cup of tea…
I’m
People ask my opinion all the time about interior design and
I usually don’t give it. I don’t want to sound preachy or sanctimonious, but sometimes
I feel like, “Uhh, if you have to ask, I’m already worried.” I would never tell
someone how to decorate their house, but I would give this advice…
• Trust your
instincts.
• Think
outside of the box.
• Don’t
follow trends.
• Save your
money and invest in a forever piece instead of buying something cheap on the
spur of the moment to fill a space. Honestly, I’d rather have an empty space
than an ugly space.
• Learn the
concept of “juxtaposition.” Contrast in interior design is what makes a space
come to life and have depth. High/low. Modern/antique. Subtle/pop.
Humble/haute.
• Allow
your house time to marinate. Don’t just go to f#cking Restoration Hardware on a
Tuesday and buy everything at once. Sometimes you have to “read” your house…
What does it call for? Don’t worry, it will tell you.
• Curate
your own house with pieces that represent who you are… No one else. I.e., you
are not Oscar de la Renta, so don’t try to be him.
• Educate
yourself on the basics of interior design… Scale, lighting, flow, balance
(symmetrical and asymmetrical), focal points, details, layering, contrast,
color, furniture placement, texture, etc.
• If all
else fails, hire someone and do not give your input. Here are
some interior design secrets that interior decorators do not tell you… They
don’t want your opinion (including that of your husband’s), they don’t care
about your opinion, their way is better, if you had any talent you’d be doing
your own house, your budget is always too small, they will always go over
budget (“yes” the AGA stove does cost $30,000), they will not share their
sources, and lastly, do not ever, ever question their color combinations, size
of a rug, height of a painting, or the angle of a cashmere throw over a chair.
Okay, let’s continue with Olatz…
Voilà! Pretty amazing, non? Nothing screams, “I have a lot
of money!” That is one of my top 11 decorating “don’ts.” Not that you asked,
but here are the other 10 decorating “no nos.”
• Curtains
that don’t touch the ground.
• Circular
rugs.
• Theme
houses.
• Too many
pieces of gilded furniture. Easy on the gilt, lady. Easy on the gilt. A little
goes a long way.
• Pools too
close to the house and waterpark theme pools.
• Houses/owners
that ask you to take your shoes off before entering the house. What the f#ck!
One time, Yolanda H Foster and I were invited to a fancy soirée in Aspen and
the host asked us to take off our shoes. Yolanda said in her Dutch accent, “I don’t
do no shoes.” That’s my girl.
• More than
one animal in a room. Don’t use a zebra rug and a leopard pillow in one room. PETA
won’t let you anyway. Just kidding. It’s just tacky.
• The term
“great room.” “We do everything in our great room.” Shut up.
• Baby
proofing a house. Translation: ugly house. If your toddler feels the need to
touch everything, put him in a cage crib.
• Fake
flowers. There is no excuse for fake flowers, including budget. FYI, Trader
Joe’s has flowers for under $10. If that is too much, grow your own or steal the
neighbors (sorry for that Monica, but your hydrangeas were irresistible).
See, this is why I don’t usually give my opinion, it’s a bit
harsh. Just do as Olatz does, and you’ll be fine…
A toute!
This post just made my day! Circular rugs are so awkward!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog today and I am thrilled. You are so incredibly funny and charming and honest and brave. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with every word! No wonder you liked my house!!!
ReplyDeleteYou already know that I am a Schnabel fan and I agree that those particular blurry lines have produced great things. My favorite of all of your points here is that it isn't about the money, it is about style and being true to your instincts (as long as said instincts do not involve scurrilous themes)...in the balance section I would also add feminine/masculine...maybe it is just me but it always makes me sad for the man when I see that a woman so clearly had her way with ALL of the house that the dude is reduced to having a "man cave." Olatz clearly understands this. ;)
ReplyDelete